Rising From the Silence

The stillness of morninng, grounds me in this place, fully feeling this space with every fiber of my being.

I reach for black coffee from my cup that says, “Loved and Believed in”. It spills down my throat and into my lungs, like a waterfall saturating the desert inside me.

Why do I still dream of babies?

I was holding one last night. The scent and weightlessnes of a little life, floating in my arms.

And why are my children begging, “We want a baby, Mom“?

Do they know something I don’t? Are they in tune to a Spirit that connects them to the Soul of the Father who heaps out blessing, time and time again?

I used to fight to hear Him. Strive to listen.

I used to claw desperately at my Father to “get a word”, beg Him to not leave me.

But now older, wiser. I see that path was futile.

“Like a child”, He calls us.

Simple. Resting. Knowing. Hearing.

The innocent. They dance with so much joy.

Running to wrap their arms around me, the moment I walk through the door….As if I was somebody…

Life is exciting.

Just breathing, such a gift worth spinnning and celebrating.

Do we miss it when we get older?

Do we get so caught in us, that the joy of the moment slips right through our fingers?

Do we focus too much on others? Widen our scope so big, we forget the small picture, miss the beauty of a moment surrendered…

And want the stars…But miss the people directly in front of us?

When did we stop dancing?

When did the weight of our legs become so heavy that we sat ourselves down and said, consciously or unconsciously…

“No more”?

Is dancing only for the young? Dreaming just for children?

Joy simply for those too simple to grasp the missles blaring, the doomsday headlines, the war that’s brewing on nearly every continent in the world?

I come back to small.

I hear Him lead me in the night, “Slow, simple, small”. 

It’s the anthem He has been humming, since the start of this year.

What is coming that needs my shrinking? What is so big that I will miss it, if I do not step aside, and witness with eyes full of humility?

I shrink for Him, willingly.

I die daily in faith that I am not the ending, or the center of the story.

I take the bait, and let the naysayers attack and slay me.

More Lord, if this is what makes me like you.

More of you and less of me.

God forgive them, they know not what they do.

Forgive the ones that spin around, pull and tear down, because they alone are drowning.

And drowning people fight to grab anything to save them…

Even if it’s grasped at, violently.

He is making a way.

Here, in the small. In the quiet stillness, where the fall has stolen the light of morning.

And crisp air brushes at my skin, reminding me of the apples still dangling selfishly…

Who are we to grab on still? Grab on and not let go?

When the night never asked for anything.

And in day, we work hard, do what He has called of us, walk in obedience….

But really, what have we to offer, but a small cup of water to the thirsty around us?

It is the firehose of His love that changes us.

He impacts hearts. He changes lives. He lights the day.

We just wait, rest, are still….And move as He leads us.

Like Lambs following our Father’s voice, stepping as He instructs us.

No more. No less.

I saw a child in my sleep. I do not know their name. I cannot see their face. But the promise of this child was placed boldly in my arms.

And I will not fear.

I am not mine, but His.

I am not alone and wild, kicking against the goads. I am surrendered…

To follow as He leads.

The dark has devoured way too much. The evening ghosts have scared the people with simple shadows and fear they don’t understand.

I say, “Rise, Rise, people of God”.

“It is time we move, act, fully live and walk in unadultered love.” 

Not from our own strength, but in faith that the God who made the evening, also made the day.

Resurrected promises.

Not in the noise-banging, symbol-playing to draw attention to us…

But in the quiet faithfulness of a people who are awakening to the promise that we were made for more.

More of Him. More love. More humility. More child-likeness. More simplicity. More hope in The One who gives us visions in the night…

And strengthens our legs to fight…

From the shelter of the silence…

Where the God of the Universe knows our name.