Have You Been Running From the Quiet?

The noise of the world seems to be a refuge for many, for me.

Like a single soul, stepping into a crowded room, the rumbling sounds of activity, promising to pacify desperate spirits.

And while I find the “hum” blankets me, business distracts me….It doesn’t do anything to magnify my soul.

The noisy push and pull of society, politics, public opinion and all its conflict, buries me instead of sustains me.

It takes me in, like quicksand paralizing my feet. And before I know it, the temptation of sound, the pull of chaos keeps me…

Away from God and away from the work He has called of me.,.

In fact, far beyond the kind of deep soul work of cleansing and inspecting, hearing and confessing, that leads us closer to Him.

And yet, in silence…

I collide with the sharp edges of my own personality, deep rejection from those who have left me, discovering discontinuity between what people promise and who they really are.

And so, I run…

To the comforts, the loudest distractions that promise to hide me in something other than the reality that’s been mounting, the pain that’s been dormant, the truth I keep alluding to, time and time again.

And yet, even here, in the valley of my soul, even amidst the loss that knows every pain I hide, even in the reconcilliation I make in my own mind…

I hear Him whisper, “Come to me”…”Step into the Light”.

The Light that goes straight to the hardest losses, it reveals our deepest secrets, it shines like no other.

And although the world promises to coddle and pacify us, cover and provide contentment….I have never found anything in the world that has helped.

Jarring sounds hinder my longing soul, people-pleasing pulls me inward, instead of outward, where I belong.

The insatiable aching to “fit in” somewhere I don’t belong, never brings satisfaction or peace.

Only He has found me. Only He has been the strength I need, the healing that covers my rawest being, like salve from the Balm of Gilead.

It is He who resurrects my heart. And where He dwells, His radiant light alone has warmed me.

And what I have found in my darkest nights is that Light, as we welcome it, races towards us, not away from us.

It chases us, even when we think we can’t be found.

And it calls us home, like the porch light of the Prodigal in Scripture, drawing us, pointing us, to where we have always belonged.

Our heart knows the way, but our soul seems to fight it. Why it that?

Our minds want to turn towards the Light, but they get blurred with the when, how, where, and why; rising up like its own god, trying to lead the way.

Only You understand. Only You can melt away all fear and doubt, lies and our own plans, made with our own, limited understanding.

Lord, let us stop running from the darkness, the quiet, the stillness that ferments the pains of our own souls. And let us know, that You alone, have power over every darkness.

You are the Light that has all power and authority to lay barren the ills of our own sinful condition.

Call us by Your Mighty and Powerful Name, and let us run to You, instead of fearing the quietness where we find and are healed by resurrection truth.

Let us know, the Father welcomes us home. The Light has a power all its own. And we are not saviors, able to control anything wrong in this world.

We are sojourners; helpless servants, not masters. We cannot run fast enough to rid ourselves of hate. We cannot out-think, out-weigh, or out-manipulate all we’ve gone through…

But we can lay down and wait for the God who conquered sin and death, letting Him shine in every bolted door of our heart.

And it is then when the captives go free…

It is in the surrender and stillness, we can have peace.

Peace that points us gently towards our purpose. Hope that rises, like the swell of the greatest current, leading us to our destinies.

Have you been running from the quiet, too?

It’s time to stop, slow down. Be still in the arms of our Loving God, who longs to reconcile everything ever gone wrong.

He is the Master Healer, the Way-Maker, the Life-Giver.

Oh, that we might let Him flood us with His rest and silence, peace and purpose…

For if I have learned one thing in my past five decades…

It’s that, apart from Him we have nothing. Apart from Him, there is no peace.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

~ Psalms 139:23-4