A Haunting Question from My Teacher, Mr. Handley

Barely double digits, I remember it well. The stairs on the side of a smaller, white building, led down to the place I gathered each Sunday.

One might think it was bleak. I can’t remember many windows. And the floor, I believe, was cement.

Yet, as we unstacked chairs on Sunday mornings, I couldn’t wait for my finger to be lifted, pointed heavenward as we sang, “This Little Light of Mine”.

As a shy child, I somehow felt comfortable, connected, there in that basement. As if walls were padded with grace and forgiveness, love and acceptance.

They called it, “Bethany Temple”. It was before they broke ground with a new pastor, and chose the location of the now megachurch, directly off the freeway.

This first building was small, but the hearts that emboldened the walls were larger than life and seemed to be glowing right through me.

Most Sundays, as I sat with my parents, I could feel the warm blanket of the love of our Father.

It wasn’t understandable, but there was something about the faces of those closing their eyes in reverence..

The presence of that place was compelling and healing.

There was such a feeling of tranquility and peace, as the Pastor at the time, seemed to let God lead.

I could recognize a submitted leader in my spirit, even as a child.

And then, there was one man who as I look back, was probably my age now.

As a child, he seems calm and collected, peaceful and connected to teaching and discipling…

Something I desperately needed.

When I hit Middle School, this same Sunday School teacher, Mr. Handley, also became my school teacher.

Six grade was full of Jack Frost and Jack London. Writers I loved. I learned like a sponge cracked open from unbearable heat.

I learned from Mr. Handley, what it means to carry yourself with openness, yet security.

What looking a child in the eyes means and that men who have authority can be gentle and unthreatening.

Forty years later, I could gather so much. But much like fabric woven into the very clothing of our garments, I can’t dicipher it all.

What I do remember is one story from Mr. Handley.

We gathered around on tiny little chairs. Mr. Handley sat low beside us. A table was behind us.

Mr. Handley didn’t need to hide.

His theology, his teachings, and the connection to the hearts of his students was always visible, in plain sight.

He began…

“If one day, you and your family didn’t have any food and you were really hungry, would you steal food so that you could eat?”

It seemed like a simple question. He gave us a minute to ponder on it.

And I am sure I presumed at the time, “Of course, if I was hungry, I would do anything I could to eat.”

Yet, more than the question, was Mr. Handley’s answer…

“If I was starving. If my family or kids were starving…and I knew there was food I could steal without anyone noticing…I wouldn’t take it.”

I am sure the small class all gasped on the inside.

Why? Why wouldn’t Mr. Handley, this man we looked up to, NOT steal food to feed his children, at least?

We then learned the answer…

He went on…

“To steal goes against the commandments of God. And before my family or my own needs, I would first seek to make sure I wouldn’t compromise His will for me.”

Mr. Handley didn’t share this with shame or through guilting, but with a sincere love that simply oozed out of him, for the sake of Christ that set Him free.

I was stunned and honestly in a bit of disbelief.

And yet, what Mr. Handley shared, it was so significant that I still remember it forty years later.

Starve before breaking the law of God?

Letting my children hurt before living selfishly? It almost seems preposterous to us who live today.

And yet, I knew it to be true. I knew Mr. Handley was so in love with Jesus, that God’s commandment to Him, “Though shall not steal”, FAR outweighed any fear or doubt…

Any feelings of hunger him or his family might face.

And although my teacher made up the scenerio of starving, I have no doubt about the convictions of Mr. Handley.

I have to ask, what lengths would you and I go to honor God, to set aside our own wants, and follow the call of a humble and holy God?

Today, I see buildings skyrocketing from government given money. Organizations bowing to the authority of those commanding mandates…

Much like Baal or the Biblical story of Nebuchadnezzar.

And yet, I wonder, do we justify away our commitment or compromise our organizations by stating it is to spread Jesus…

Yet Jesus isn’t first and foremost holy in our lives?

Would we rob from the people we are called to minister His name to?

Live one way in one place and a totally different way in another?

Do we have two lives? Performing on the surface, yet compromising to be successful in private?

Is Jesus; His heart, His call, His ways, the center?

Last I heard, Mr. Handley passed away.

There were not many men like him.

He was a great teacher. And like all great teachers, he asked great questions.

How would we live when led to compromise?

What would we do, if we were asked to exchange our call for the sake of making life easier for us or someone around us?

Would we silence the place of Christ because we don’t want to offend?

Would we silence the gospel and just pretend to be “good people”, not mentioning the crucifix, because we don’t want to sound too religious?

I don’t think the call of God was compromised by Jesus, it was propeled by not only His witness, but His words and His workings.

In fact, the hammer that pierced Him wasn’t mentioned, when Jesus found and returned to the disciples He loved.

I do know, in that tiny basement, in the bottom of that white building…

There was not evidence of the rich and proud, great wealth or great programs. But like a warm wind, there was the spirit of God moving.

And it was there, men like Mr. Handley dwelled. They humbled themselves on tiny, child-sized chairs each Sunday.

Living the gospel. Seen and unseen. On Sundays but also Monday through Friday.

Where are the Mr. Handley’s today?

Who are the people that love the Lord so much that they are willing to take up their cross and follow Him regardless of what it might cost them.

Quiet. Humble. Servants.

Lowering themselves from the pulpit, to teach and transform the least of these.

“Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” ~ Matt. 25:40