It was just a speck of light. Like oxygen flowing through tired, weary lungs….slowly, barely, hopefully, helplessly.
And yet, the light and oxygen never leave the people of God. Sometimes bursting forth, other times glimmering with smaller quantities of air…
But always there.
Never hopeless. Never destitute. Always Him. Always something, and someone to hold onto.
I claim these truths, as weakened hands turn on Jesus Culture, winding around the curves on the way to take my daughter to school.
“When we worship when we don’t feel like it…..That’s where the power is.” Words resound. Inspired by this truth, I command feelings to take a back seat and faith to be the driver.
While words dance softly through the speakers…
“Author of the World, walk with me.
Ruler of the Earth, walk with me.
Calmer of the Storm, walk with me.
Healer of my Heart, walk with me.”
These lyrics are like morsels, mana from heaven. And I devour them, like someone who hasn’t eaten and is starved by their circumstances.
Setting aside the instruments, lingering on the lyrics, I listen.
“How I need you. How I need you. Oh, Jesus, walk with me.”
Tears start streaming. Coffee dances is my mind, but I know yesterday needs more than caffeine to turn my heart in faith…help me walk again.
“Light for every step, walk with me. Giver of each breath, walk with me.”
Words keep playing. Until, I rise in Spirit. Draw from the reservoir of the hope He’s placed within me. Not from my own breath, my own hope, my own strength….
But because His Word is true, alive. And heartfelt worship always ushering in His grace.
How I need You
How I need You
Oh Jesus, walk with me
How I love You
How I love You
Oh Jesus, walk with me
My cracking voice, starts soft, weary, gasping for breath, in this quiet teary state. I force out the hope, He is all I need.
And I imagine Him near me as I sing with Kim Walker-Smith. Not walking ahead, or behind. Not distant, far off, or with some dangling carrot, waiting for me to get it right…
But here. Next to me. Now. With me. Despite my inability to give or offer Him anything.
And like an anthem of goodness, my song becomes louder, my heart becomes stronger.
The pinhead of light grows wider, more open. Breath starts flowing, and I can feel the oxygen moving again. Words once robotic, sprinkle with emotion and feeling.
I wind around the corner of the fields. Smelling the sweetness of spring, as if I’d never experienced it.
Eyes become clearer to the beauty I’ve been missing.
I realize Hope and Peace rests in the middle of our every day walk, Him near, Close, always with us.
Louder and louder my voice rises.
Faith reaches amid this obedient praise in the hour of this painful foreshadowing that left it’s mark on my heart.
Then, I hear them from the back seat. One at a time. First my daughter, then the son.
“How I need you. Hoooow I need you.” Not soft, but empowered, strong, confident.
From mouths of babes they echo beautifully, as if a miraculous melody of grace is rising wildly, here, among the broken.
In Your presence Lord there is peace, there is rest
In Your presence Lord there is life that never ends
In Your presence Lord there is joy there is joy
In Your presence Lord there is life that never ends
Our collective song rises to the heavens. And my soul is well again.
Air and light and love rush in. Peace blankets us, His mercy finding us, here on this windy road.
And I read, after dropping kids off, when the quiet of the house pressing my face ever closer, to Scripture…
“[There shall be heard again] the voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the voices of those who sing as they bring sacrifices of thanksgiving into the house of the Lord.
Give praise and thanks to the Lord of Hosts, for the Lord is good, for His mercy and kindness and steadfast love endures forever.” (Jer. 33:11)
I grab His promises, like a captive starving for water. Like a desolate one, now finding shelter. Like an infant, clinging tightly to her mother….
“I will cause the captivity of the land to be reversed and return to be as it was at first, says the Lord.” (Jer. 33:11)
And there is hope.
- Hope for this moment. Hope for the mothers and children.
- Hope for those lost and severely broken…
- Hope for the pridefully and ignorant, the wanderers and lamenting.
- There is hope for the weary.
- Hope for you and I.
There is hope. When we turn to Him and see Him, not far off, or distant….
But close.
Hearing us. Near us. Walking with us. On whatever journey. He is with us.
Never leaving….
“Author of the world, Ruler of the earth. Healer of our hearts…
Walk with Me.”
UNITE LINK PARTY
UNITE is an all-inclusive, no-rules blog hop! This is how it works….Add a family-friendly post, and then, out of courtesy…
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Thanks so much for sharing here! Take some time and read all the amazing posts here? Won’t you? Oh, and most of all, have fun!
2 Comments
Thank you for hosting!
Beautiful words to cling to. Thanks Jen!