Confessions from a Social Media Addict #UNITE Link Party

“Addicted.” It’s the word a podcast used, one I listened while curling up in my bed late one night.

• “If you open Facebook before you say ‘hi’ to your family in the morning…addicted.”
• “If Facebook is the last thing you read at night….addicted.”
• “If you even sometimes wake in the middle of the night, just to check Facebook…addicted.”

There it was. The podcasts formula for obsession. Guilty, on all three charges.

But “addicted”? Really? Do they need to use that word?

On New Year’s Eve, I didn’t plan it. I just fell across some post….yep, you guessed it…on Facebook. Our denomination was doing a three week fast of anything of our choosing; food, t.v. Facebook etc. Whatever your hearts felt most convicted from.

The person’s post I just happened to be reading? They were fasting from, of all things, Facebook.

A lump appeared in my throat. My hands started sweating. Conviction set it.

I tell another friend at basketball of my conviction. After all, isn’t confession the first step towards recovery?

She suggested I go so far as to delete the Facebook app from my smartphone. I looked at her like she was from some other planet. Was I hearing right what she was telling me?

Live without my Facebook app? Have to go home and actually open my laptop, turn it on, and log into Facebook from there if I needed it?

No more nighttime scrolling? No more, scrolling between commercials….at stop lights…when I stood in line at Starbucks? No more scrolling ever!? Did she come down with some kind of epidemic?

I took the challenge. Yet, despite
it all…call me crazy…I actually expected my no-Facebook-for-three-weeks to be easy.

It wasn’t.

Whose Or What Is Driving Your Life

In years past, I must confess…I have attended multiple churches that have taught, “Do what you want”, “God is not concerned with the daily decisions we make, as long as they are not bad.”. And, “Oh well, if we make a few mistakes…grace covers all that.”

And every time I heard it, I shifted in my seat. One pulpit even preached, “God doesn’t mind sitting in the back seat of your proverbial car. He likes to let us drive wherever we want.”

• What happened to, “Jesus take the wheel”?
• Where was, “The Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing”? (John 5:19)
• And how about, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (Prov. 3:5-6)

Still, you don’t have to live under a rock in our culture to see doctrine wedding  itself to culture. (It happens in every culture and has happened all throughout history.)

And doesn’t our culture say, it’s all about what we want, what we feel? God is just a decoration, making us seem righteous? A tool used just enough to elevate us from our guilt…not a God who should consume us?

But, Scripture teaches otherwise. Scripture reminds me…

• The disciples died fully surrendered, as martyrs, living a life abandoned to worldly methods and formulas.
• Scripture teaches, in this world you will have trouble, but take heart, but He (Not us) has overcome the world.
• It says, “Do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2)

Was Facebook renewing my mind? Did scrolling make me hold my life to the standard of the pictures I was seeing? Did it make me more like Christ? Was Facebook stirring greed; making me want a house, a family, a body, kitchen meals like I was seeing? Did it create restlessness and arrogance? Was it stirring jealousies? Or birthing the seeds of a busy-body, scripture teaches us not to emulate?

Was I holding my own self to the unrealistic expectations, the kind I was seeing in social media? Was it drawing me closer to Christ or away from Him?

Had I created a pseudo world where I become the emperor; completely in control, deleting posts or blocking “friends” if I don’t agree with them? Had I created a wall where I was the God, and all that followed somehow beneath me?

Didn’t Facebook, especially during elections, feud wars and divisions between friends and family members? Hadn’t words create misunderstandings and enemies, instead of drawing people nearer, closer in humility and fellowship?

Nine days into my Facebook fast and I confess….I don’t think God likes taking the back seat, or fighting for my attention. He doesn’t get glory from me creating a world, like Babel, where I can dictate or get lost in empty business, from the tips of our typing fingertips?

This is ugly. But truth is…the first day I quit Facebook? I was like a junkie coming off some drug addiction. I wriggled and moved, and rolled in my bed at night, not knowing what to do with this mental energy that was usually spent scrolling through Facebook.

I stared at the sky, grumpy, and irritating at my already patient husband. And yet, when I asked my family and they agreed, “Yep, your addicted to Facebook”.

That word again…really? Addicted?

The Blessing That Can Come From Surrender

Finally, after a few days, in place of scrolling I began to start praying, facing the ceiling, repenting, confessing my sin of self-righteousness, and asking God to speak to me.

Days three and more, I began to start having dreams of His purposes. Sometimes they were strong and clear, other times they were alarming revelation of clear warfare against His purposes.

Night after night, I had dreams, callings, times where He spoke to me…Dreams I used to visit regularly, but that had somehow been silent recently, and I didn’t know why.

Then, our Golden Retriever of nearly twelve years got hit by a car. I was beside myself. I wanted to post photos of her on Facebook, grieve and hear words of sympathy from friends and others I know who loved her.

I needed to hear comfort and encouragement from someone other than God…But why was that? Wasn’t He enough? Wasn’t He all sufficient?

There was weeping as our family mourned.

Life seems to have turned upside down….something that happens when we start pressing into Jesus, when we give up on our will, and start surrendering to His voice and purposes.

And then, like a true addict, nine days later, I finally confessed. “My name is Jen and I am a Facbook-oholic. 

At the same time, I am learning to value real people, want His purposes. I hear His still, small voice clearer than ever, and I feel grateful and humbled.

Last night, my husband and I sat in our bedroom, the light from the fireplace danced against the glare of the french doors , going out to our balcony. We talked, really talked, and had break through and agreement on a subject that we had been a point of contention the entirety of our marriage.

Why had I missed this beauty? The quiet? The looking into the eyes of the one I love? The silent weight of life that catches us and carries us to places that are in His hands?  Where had I learned to be the Cesar in my Facebook world, when His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, His ways, we can’t understand? 

I finished an entire book these past nine days, “The Family Nobody Wanted”. It’s a story of one of the very first, large, trans-racial adoption families in America. A must read for those adoption families or adoptees out there.

I am now on book two, William Wilberforce’s, “Real Christianity”. More to come on that in future posts.

I have had coffee dates with friends, diner dates with my husband, spent time talking to real life friends, treasured the silence, and found new relationship with Jesus.

In nine days of fasting Facebook I have written nearly a half a dozen blog posts, had some crazy, ridiculous worship times, prayed, journaled, and really stopped and looked, and heard the hearts of my children.

What About You?

“Addiction”. A pretty harsh word. I know it. But my guess is, maybe you have something in your life you feel you just can’t give up.

• Maybe it’s the thing you do or think about most?
• Maybe it’s that big secret your keeping?
• Or the thing you get most defensive about when other people question you?

I don’t know, but what if you joined me in this journey of making 2017 a year where we let go of everything entangling us from living out the full purposes He has called us to?

What if we took Jesus from the back seat, and placed Him at the steering wheel? How might everything in our lives change?

At the end of 2017, let’s look back and be in awe of all the fruit He brings from our laying down our lives for His sake?

Let’s walk it out together friends, be brave, and not give into our culture. Let’s be everything He has called us to be vs. being slaves to the world’s agendas.

What do you think? Isn’t it time to let, “Jesus take the wheel”?

(Disclaimer: Please know friends, I am not judging anyone! This is my own personal journey. I love and don’t at all condemn anyone who uses Facebook. One bit. I just know what God has been speaking to me personally and am trying to be faithful to relay that here as He has instructed. No judgement, just a desire to make my heart look more like His, and honest friends, it’s never comforting, to admit, online, to the entire world, “I am a Facebook addict”. Thanks for your understanding. Grace and blessings to each of you!  ~ Jen)

UNITE Link Party

It is Tuesday!  Know what that means? Time for the all-inclusive, no-rules blog hop, UNITE!

Wanna know how UNITE works? Here it is! Only thing is, would you consider linking back when you are finished adding your post below?

Also, grab a cup of tea or coffee, and taking some time to read so many great posts. Thanks for being here! Now, let’s get to it…