Her head is tucked tight inside of one of the books we picked up from the library.
As a home-school mom, I thrive on knowledge, but also the age-old education of good old-fashioned conversation.
The kind people originally shared; face-to-face, one-on-one, the older teaching the younger.
Because kids, if we let them, can become more than zombies fixed to some t.v. screen.
Tweet This“You know what I find funny?” My almost ten-year-old starts in randomly, looking up from the text sitting on her lap in the back seat of my vehicle…
“Scientist in my books always have mustaches.”
It wasn’t some big discovery, but something I felt prompted to address…
In the wake of the rape incident at Stanford, where a blue-eyed, well-educated kid victimized a girl brutally behind a garbage dumpster.
“They don’t always have mustaches”, I tell her.
She lifts her head once again to look at me. I can almost see her wheels turning, mind spinning, as she waits for me to share more.
“Scientist can be girls or guys, tall, short, black or white,” I share confidently.
She looks at me as if questioning, “But every time I see them, they are white, with white hair and a mustache?”
“In reality” I tell her, “There is something called ‘stereotypes’. The idea that specific groups of people look or act a certain way,”
“Ya, that’s right, mom. I have noticed that when I read.” She brightens.
“And what does a criminal look like?” I ask her.
Sadly, I think I know her answer.
It’s clear she’s seen black-skin, like hers, mostly profiled with crimes….though statistically and percentage-wise, black people commit less crimes than whites.
“But sweetie, the truth is, criminals can be white, or Asian, even well-dressed business people, people you know….or even women.”
She doesn’t answer right away. My words cracking the brainwashed thinking that has indoctrinated her into believing all people that look the same, act the same.
I then go on to tell her how recently a crime was committed and how it was by a white, well-educated man, whose family had lots of money.
“Really?” She sounds shocked. And I know I still have a lot of educating to do, to shatter the idea that evil comes in specific shapes and colors.
I talk about how we must not judge with our eyes, because a homeless man can sometimes be more trusted more than a man in a Mercedes, driving up to her on the sidewalk.
And in a world were images are everything; Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, social media….
We can unknowingly become tattooed by the ideas that stereotypes can be trusted and people are safe, just because of how they look superficially…
When in reality, we as parents must dispel these myths to keep our children safe, explaining to our children boldly…..
Not all scientists wear mustaches.
“You know that little gut feeling inside you when you know that something is wrong? We must listen to it.” I tell her confidently…
Knowing how easy it is to fall prey, even in our own communities…thinking we know someone, so we are safe. When in fact, we truly may not be.
And I go on about how even the least likely people can betray us, if we don’t listen to what’s inside us, telling us what’s wrong and right.
“That’s the Holy Spirit, right mom?” She answers loudly, with light in her eyes.
And I reminded we have had similar conversations before.
“That’s right, sweety. But also, we don’t live feeling afraid of everybody. Because God didn’t give us a spirit of fear…”
“But a spirit of power, love and a sound mind.” She joins me in reciting this verse we memorized with hand-motions, long ago when she was little.
We turn the corner, a few blocks from my parents.
I pull off Broadway and spot a bearded man, looking like a Muslim. He is wearing a summer baseball outfit in the rain, smoking a cigar like Frank Sinatra, while pushing a wheelchair, full of junk like a wandering homeless person.
And I jokingly think, “So much for stereotypes. So much for trying to limit and categorize people according to outward appearances.”
For clearly, even a boy from Stanford can be a rapist, and evil is no respecter of persons.
Appearances can be deceiving and stereotypes can’t be trusted.
Man looks at outward appearance, but God looks at our hearts.
We can’t always be there to protect our children…
But we can teach them the truth about societal lies and the reality that in this life…
Scientists don’t always wear mustaches.
3 Comments
Great work teacher-mama….N is blessed by learning wisdom from you.
It was a white lawyer who embezzled all Codie’s money…he was a man from my church who sometimes led worship on the keyboard.
Truly, criminals come from ever strata of society.
May God bless and protect that little mind you are nurturing and bless you that you always have His wisdom whenever it is called for. xxx
Mary – I am so sorry to hear that! Yes, that we all might remember, sin has no pattern and is no discriminator of persons. Yet, God is a God of justice and in that we can rest! ~
Yes, let’s join God in looking at the heart and ask him to give us eyes that see the unseen. There is so much wisdom for parenting – and just plain living – in your words.