I sat next to her because she was smart. Everyone knew her dad had ample wealth. At sixteen, she had cash handed to her whenever she wanted, a nice car, and seemingly everything a girl could dream of.
But soon, I didn’t care as much about her math skills, as I sympathized with her cry for authenticity in a High School filled with young people looking for some label to give them their identity.
When I heard she smoked Marijuana, I was shocked. She looked clean, put together, like the last person on the planet that was partying on the weekends.
But, when we walk with gaping holes, live life without validation, and struggle silently just to hold on….we’ll do anything to fill that void, anything…even things one day we might regret.
As the days and weeks passed, we became friends. Her reputation as smart was proved by her “A’s”. But soon her grades plummeted silently.
And yet, her dad got rid of her by giving her money, while she struggled for approval from her discontent mother…
And everyone’s childhood will eventually catch up with them.
Because thirsty souls can’t draw from empty wells for very long.
And like at night, where dusk sets and we don’t realize it before it’s dark; her grades, her family, the small little piece of self-respect she had hoped to attain was lost like a needle in a haystack.
It’s the same today. So many hopeless, clawing for an image, looking for identity on the internet, in the reflection of man’s approval, social settings, their job title, or their wealth. And yet….
Any identity not rooted in Jesus, will eventually deflate, peal, shatter and crumble into a thousand broken pieces. Only grace can glue us back together.
Many have heard about the Stanford Rape case. Emotions high, a situation aggravating on so many levels…
And yet, as mothers of children…as parents of daughters who wake up and have to look in the mirror each day, we must test and question, and weigh what we are teaching…
Parents of frat boys, like Brock Turner, who don’t realize, images of solely worldly achievement; great schools, and performances, lives build on the sands of worldly praise; will crash down, eventually.
Have we forgotten there is a rock, and He is our firm foundation? And like my mother used to tell me, “A little rain never hurts a rock.”
And yet, I grieve because I see them. Young people, like my friend in High School, who think their awards, or athletic skills, grades, or social standing will somehow sustain them.
Girls looking for some kind of fulfillment or validation, in a boy, their looks, their ability to entice, given into the lies that they are in control of something….
When Hollywood won’t save them.
We train our children to create five paragraph essays and killer senior projects, yet fail to tell them to stand tall, look and watch, and not be vulnerable to the dangers in finding our identity in anything else, other than Jesus.
“Wise as serpents, gentle as a doves.” I am reminded as I raise my children.
And yet, do we forget, since the beginning of time, women have been turned down dark paths by the words and actions of others…
In the Garden, even Eve lost her true identity
by giving into temptations….
And why don’t us as moms tell our daughters, feelings without logic is a slippery slope to destruction.
No one is born saying, “Guess what? I want to be a stripper when I grow up”, or “I want to be raped”, or “I would like to be used or manipulated, humiliated or degraded”….
The very foundation of our children’s identity lies in lessons and scripture, connecting through carefully listening and asking questions…
We must build relationship so close with our children that even the most cunning attempts to derail them will never gain a foothold.
Tweet ThisWe must speak wisdom. Tell stories from our childhoods. Give advice, and teach with words, the way cultures did long before their were even books, or printing presses, the alphabet, or any written forms of communication…
We must put down our phones, shut our laptops, stop the pressing desire to stand up and join this rat-race calling us to nowhere. Our greatest callings are to make our family a priority.
Let’s stop dumping our roles as parents on schools, or Sunday School teacher, or daycare. Lets stop letting neighbors, or friends, or technology teach our children…
While wolves watch and wait, eagerly anticipating to devour our innocent….
And who is going to fight for our children if we don’t?
Who is going to rally around, teach our children that life is more than about conquering, and winning, being beautiful, or charming, or anything, on the outside…
Neglecting holiness, and integrity, identity, and strength of character.
Dignity and respect isn’t something that is born in us, it’s taught.
Children must be told of their original identity, in Him…of character, humility, surrender, and selflessness…so they can use it like a weapon to win the battles they are facing.
My friend ended up taking her cloths off, as a stripper, for money. She hinted once, when I ran into her years later, what happens behind the curtains at the end of the evenings…..
And it doesn’t matter if you are entitled, born into inheritance, given a good childhood, or even think you can withstand the temptations of the enemy….
If our children don’t know their true identity, don’t acknowledge sin with humility, if they are not anchored to the one who Created and formed them before creation…
The lion will devour them, and the world will watch on, grieving.
I never would have guessed the future of my friend. She started out strong, but now I am not even sure she graduated High School….
But I do know God had a plan she missed because she longed for acceptance and love, she needed something she wasn’t receiving at home.
Parents, let’s teach our daughter’s to
be strong. Train our sons to honor, revere, and respect women.
And dad’s, won’t you stop being distant; playing video games, going to sports bars on the weekends, leaving your family to navigate without you….
Your are their anchor, and the lighthouse to Christ they are looking for.
We don’t need to read about our babies….In stories like the Stanford Rape Case.
We don’t want them to chase bars, and drugs, clubs, and recreational sex…or put them in situations where they are ripping away control, because they have never felt any stability at home….
We need to be the voice, like John, crying in the wind, telling them of a Savior that can free them, deliver and guide them….Forgiving them when necessary, and encouraging, “It’s not too late”.
Because the last thing in the world we need is, more judgement, more wandering children, more victims and abusers, lives left in havoc…
When the finish line was just one breaststroke away.
We are leaving a legacy. What’s the legacy we are leaving through our children?
