We bought this old farmhouse years ago; equipped with rolling hills, a pond, blue skies, and bullfrogs “rib-bit-ing” long into late summer nights.
Some might call it a dream…but I saw it as one big, fat headache.
The thing is, the house was in repo condition when we bought it; cracked patio, well-worn hand rails, and a sticky back screen door than “open”, “shut”, independent and unsuspectingly at all hours, day and night.
I used to think there was a burglar when I first heard it, “THUD”, full thrust against the back of the house.
Not. Bolted. Shut. Again.
Time and time again, “slam”, “crash”, “thud”, the door flung open, shut. Tired old glass shaking as if on the verge of shattering, held delicately by one teetering wire frame.
There are times I just didn’t get why people have screen doors after all. I mean, we live in the northwest. There are few bugs, no snakes, our temperature is cool, mostly rain. So why have an extra door anyway?
But I kept it there. Despite the fact that there were days I literally wanted to rip it of its hinges. You know, those days on quiet of five acres, silently sitting on the table tucked tight in the kitchen nook….
And then, all of the sudden, “SMACK”. Like a freight train running full force right into your house. Knocking you from the pub chair to the floor of your bewilderment.
But what I realized is, the people who live in our house, never lock the screen. It’s a hassle..really.
That’s why the screen has been something of a play thing to the wind. A gush rushes, and it smashed shut. Another breeze comes from the other direction…and the door flings wide open.
Open. Shut. Open. Shut. It just doesn’t know which way it is going. And I wonder if eventually, one day, the wind will just take it off it’s hinges, or if it will crack from the inconsistency of flinging back and forth, back and forth.
Until this morning, God reminded me that sometimes we too can be tossed around by the winds of our circumstances. We want to be open fully to God and others…but then hard gusts come and we slap shut trying to keep air-tight from the bitter cold coming near us.
And I wonder today, if we can commit to living with a heart, and life, and our days wide open to what He wants to do in and through us. If we might take the lock and fasten it to the outside of His house….so we are open to all of what He has for us..refusing to shut tight. Ever. Again.
Cause I want to live that kind of life…don’t you? The kind where my time is His, my thoughts, my heart, my life, my hopes are fully sealed with His great love. And despite the winds coming, to have that kind of trust to know that I know….it is His job to defend, carry, provide, and watch sovereignly over us….
After all, we are not the guards to our own lives, anyway.
Yes, this spring, I am committed to getting rid of that fickle screen door, as well as anything else hindering me from trusting God with my very own life. My future.
Do you have screen doors in your life? Do you ever feel like you waver back and forth from defending to faith, from protecting yourself to leaning more on grace?
I imagine…if Jesus was right now with us in the flesh, He might tell us….I broke bread, walked on water, fed five thousand, healed the leapers, redeemed the adulterous and tax collectors, opened blind eyes, provided finances out of fish mouths. I freed the demon possessed, rose up Lazarus, and resurrected from the dead myself….
I can take care of you.
Who wants to rip off some ugly screen doors with me today? Living free, giving Him full access to every part of us?
What might happen, what incredible things might we experience, if we stopped putting conditions on God and started trusting Him fully, giving Him free access to all He wants to do through us…
No more screen doors, thudding shut in heavy winds.
