I shared this over at my private Facebook page and thought I’d post it here too! If anything, I just really want YOU to know…it doesn’t matter how broken, or lost, or dysfunctional your life may seem to you…
God can use YOU….
As a little girl I was drawn to the missionaries who came from around the world & spoke at the church I grew up in. It was a privilege to be part of a church that not only saw, but actively stirred others on in God’s heart for the lost. I still remember the faces of many; the one lady who called us to just say, “yes” in the small things. The couple who shared that their son almost died of Malaria…but they were still serving overseas. And so many others that spoke with such boldness, love, & humility.
Then, there were the stories! Such stories of faith, hardships, victory and triumph! I told my youngest some of these stories just this morning to build her faith, as she was alarmed because a man was running loose and her school was under lock-down.
But out of all the stories and all the people; one moment, literally one-minute stopped me in my tracks. A young, gentle, very peaceful young women in her twenties came to our elementary aged, Sunday School class and shared how she had come from sharing Jesus to the nations.
I still remember how we sat, chairs in a circle, in the room off the gym because the building we were in was sill under construction. The room didn’t look fancy, and the young missionary was anything but glamorous….but I was still struck in a big way, by a young girl who was willing to give her life away for the sake of the gospel.
But know what was really strange? Instead of talking, or teaching, or telling us how great it was to be a missionary…she simply asked us at the end of the class to bow our heads and listen to see if God was calling any of us to share Jesus with people in other parts of the world.
Now, let me preface this story with how odd, and quiet, and how painfully shy I was as a child. I may have looked o.k. on the inside but even at that time, my esteem, my identity and everything about me was a million miles away from anything “good” or even the slightest bit capable to do anything “holy” for God. I was just trying to get through elementary school with my head down so that my teacher wouldn’t call on me. I was sad inside and lost in so many ways, (which makes for a longer story meant for another day). 🙂
But, I went along, like the “good” kid I tried so hard to be back them.
And to my surprise, in that minute of stillness and quiet and waiting, God whispered almost immediately that He would send me to the nations. I looked up quickly, shocked. The lady missionary and all the other girls still had their heads down. “Oh my…what should I do.” Well, I didn’t want to acknowledge to anyone that God had whispered to my heart, so I did the same thing any little girl hearing from God for the first time might do…I argued with Him.
“You should call her to the nations instead”, I looked up at the popular girls all sitting in a row. “She is dressed nicer.” I pointed out those who seemed “worthy” of such a call. “Don’t you want her? Her parents are leaders and elders in the church?” I went on and on, trying to pin on others what God was asking me to do instead. The excuses continued for most of that entire minute, which seemed at the time, like an eternity.
That was well over thirty years ago.
Last night, I was so humbled and quite tearful at the privilege to be asked to speak at that exact same church I grew up in, to a group of girls very close to the age I was when I heard His still small voice. More amazingly, I worshiped and thanked God all the way to church as I realized I too was going to be speaking about what that young girls spoke to me about so many years ago…”Missions”.
And no, the room wasn’t the same as it was back then. I made my way up the stairs to the fun-filled location where the girls were waiting, talking happily, with all sorts of question. But, as I looked on each one of those faces, I just knew I had to tell them….
“God has a plan for you!”
And no, you don’t have to be the smartest, cutest, the most well-dressed…because God is no respecter of persons. God just wants those who are willing. Those who will answer Him, “Here I am. Send me.”
Please know, it was a very round-about way God brought me from that lowly place as a child, to now being able to share His heart for the nations.
I have taken the long way, and I continue many times to still take the most difficult way to get to where God wants me to be….
But God has a plan. And no man (Yes, not even you or me) can thwart Him from what He wants to accomplish through broken ones, troubled one, obscure people such as you and me.
And I forget sometimes…the Bible is filled with sinners, and murderers, and prostitutes, and demonied people that God delivered and used despite their mess.
All the while, in my message, I tell the girls of my experiences with that young missionary, as a child. And then I have to ask them at the end of my time there to close their eyes….listen for God….to trust that God can and will speak to their hearts of His purpose for their lives. We wait there one full minute. The clock pounds along with my beating chest as I pray for these little ones under my breathe…these little ones that somehow reflect a 30-year ago version of me.
“Tick-tock. Tick-tock.”.
And like a light that seems to shine from heaven, I see the faces of a few brighten up. Was God talking to them? Did they hear His still small voice? Was God calling them to China? To Dominican Republic? To Guatemala?
I may never know. But I do know, God doesn’t always use just the well polished, perfectly indoctrinated ones….those looking the part, or the ones who we all think should be “chosen” by a God so holy and true….
For yes, some reason, He takes ashes and works beauty, He takes the broken and uses those cracks to pour grace through them. He takes the least likely, even the least equipped in some circumstances….and uses them, despite any good thing that they might have to offer Him…
Not because they are “good”, not because they are “worthy”, but because they say, “yes”…and because sometimes it is when he uses the most broken vessels…
That is when He gets the greatest glory.
Will you listen to His still small voice today? Where is God calling you on this faith journey? Please know you are never too broken, you are never too young or old, you are never too far gone that God can’t pick you up, call you, and by grace alone use you!
(Linking with Barbie
(Linking with Barbie
2 Comments
Another beautiful post Jen! Thank goodness for that woman that spoke into your life. I thank God all the time for the missionaries he placed in my life! And in my community.
I love how God uses our brokenness for His glory. Beautiful story. It is such an honor hear the voice of God spoken into your heart at such an age, isn’t it? I remember feeling like such a cracked pot and the Lord whispering into my heart, “I won’t fix you but I will restore you and make you new.” What a journey of healing it has been. Blessings to you! Thanks for visiting Inking the Heart. Love, Rachael