Could God use Someone like me? I mean, do you know my past? {Day 13}

She wails big walrus cries.  Her head goes back as water flushed from her eyes.  What did I say? What did I do to make her act this way?

I didn’t know.

All I did was lay hands on the woman kneeling on the carpet.  All I did was “obey the rules” of how to pray for someone.  What did I know as a new person on the prayer team?

Pastor steps down from his pulpit, stops preaching, lays hands on this one I have been touching, who is now a mess on the carpet; continually sobbing, wailing, and throwing her head back in tears.

As the pastor stays praying, I sheepishly tip toe away through the landmine of people kneeling in the front of the sanctuary.

I thought I had done something wrong.  I wondered if I hurt her with my words?  I wanted to run, hide, sneak away from that church that had burned in me with revival up until now.

Then, an elder approached me.  I thought I was in trouble.  I looked at him with what must have looked like panic, or fear in my eyes.

Then He whispers as pastor keeps sharing with the church, this lady’s experience.  “She got set free.” Elder whispers. “Whatever you said as you prayed for her, set her free.”  

I was shocked, while having no clue to what I even said.

I still doubted.  Still wanted to run and find shelter.  But, trapped by the people in the front of the church, I was forced to watch.  Wait. Until I had no choice but to trust what others were telling me.

Then this lady, after pastor explains to the congregation what had just happened, turns to me and hugs me so hard I can barely breathe.  I am still confused.  I am lost.  Speechless. I must have looked dazed, dumbfounded, having no clue as to the reason why she feels so comfortable she wants to such the life right out of me.

But as days pass and I began to watch how God was moving and how He chose to us broken people…I became to see that God doesn’t exclusively use, those well studies, theologians, or that that seem perfect.

The beauty about God is that He often uses the weak to confound the wise, the broken, to show the world that He is, in fact alive.

After all, when the most unlikely people start to be used by God, people have to give all credit to the only one who could be clearly worthy…God.

And when God moves, chains cling off like Paul when He worshiped in prison.  When He moves….really moves…..we don’t have to find a “formula” to “make” things happen.  When He moves, all we need to be is surrendered, humble, repentant.

God doesn’t need a genius.  He scans the whole earth for those with faith and who are willing.

And after He touches us, we realize how we never needed intense counseling, robust programs, or detailed lessons to bring change in a congregation.  When God touches us, we are changed.  Instantly.  Completely.  Forever.

And often, afterwards, His Word just naturally becomes our teacher, as His Spirit so faithfully, continually transforming us, drawing nearer to the heart of God.

And it was lessons like this that taught me and continue to teach me to stop striving and to simply“let go” and stop “trying so hard”….

To simply seek God in the quiet and let Him alone stir revival…real revival…to burn ablaze in the heart of all we are….

And as a result, change is easy; being set free stops being a striving.  We simply become undone effortlessly, as we fearlessly abandon ourselves to what He wants to do in and through us.

I want to live there, continually in that abandoned place of God-seeking, desperately clinging hunger, that says, “All I need is you God”.  Don’t you?  It doesn’t matter what church or background, or denomination we go to.

For God looks at the heart. And He wants to show that He is more than a “good man” through those that have nothing in their open hands….

But Him.