On The Edge Of Faith. Afraid to Jump. Where Our Foster Daughter Finds Jesus.

She sits on the edge of diving.  Diving into a world foreign to what she knows.  She waits.  Hesitates.  Wants to know….

• Is it real?
• Will this hurt me?
• Can I really be….something other than what I have been being?

And I see the war.  So tangible. Waking me in sleeping hours, to help her fight this battle.

Though, this one.  I can help her fight.  Her soul must choose.  Alone.

Bi-stander to her struggles.  Like fire running through my bones.  Weary.  Wanting relief.  Help.

And why is it….

Some plant seed?  And others water?

One requiring a moment.  A second, to place that future fruit down.

While the other….Requiring hourly, daily, tenaciously, carefully planned watering.

And sometimes the water of life to the seed of eternity comes through the tears we cry for others.  And clouds of prayer resting upon an individual.

A girl….just like ours.

And I have tried to water with tears and faith and offer clouds of prayers.  But, sometimes.  We all get weary.  This running with horses that requires perseverance….

To finish the race.

And so, I pray, my Christianity would not just be…

Empty.  Fleeting.  Words.  Only.

But, fanning.  Fires of faith.  Deep inside me. Stirring up.  Saying….

“We all are worth fighting for.”
  
“Our 11 year old foster daughter is worth fighting for.”

And then.  Finally.  Hard ground.  Planted seed.  Watered soil….Sprouts.  And I hear she was saved.  Accepted our faith.  At Sunday School a few weeks past. And I am overcome with a strange…..mixture of joy.  And doubt.

How could this girl…Possibly find Jesus?

But then, I recall….who Jesus sought out.

And how He is drawn to the sick ones.  The one’s that need a doctor.  Having no strength.  Or power.

….Or hope of finding their healing.  Alone.

And I recall.  A couple from my old church.  Drug addicts.  In the dark alley.  Alone.  On their way to go kill themselves….

When someone from our church, Spirit led, happened to….at that exact moment…..walk up to them and ask them if they wanted prayer.

And how God found them.  Healed them.  Led them to our church.  Redeemed and restored….everything the enemy took.

And they didn’t die after all.

And how when things look darkest.  Most lost.  Most uncertain….Maybe that is when God is working. Behind the scenes. Most.

And I see her.  Saved. Sitting on the edge of faith.

Prayers pushing her towards the place….where there is no return.

Speechless.

Swimming.  Myself.  Deep. In the ocean of His ways….

So, I don’t tell her…..but show her….

Broken little girls are worth fighting for.

And the water is safe. Out in the open.  Where there is healing.  And abundant grace.

And I remember when I sat there.  Where she is…..

Afraid to jump.

(Linking with Barbie, Laura @ Wellspring, On, In, @ Around Mondays, Michelle)