Does an hour go by. On any given day. That she doesn’t show me her wounds? A cut. A scrape. A tummy ache. Needing me to stop and take some time to. Ask questions? Learn? Listen?
Knowing….
The wounds that can’t be seen are those most great of all. The one’s that band-aides will never heal….those most crucial.
And though now she has grown to look me in the eyes. Sometimes….her downcast head, turned down eyes….remind me of what she has been through.
……And I remember.
Again.
She is a miracle. A miracle. Rescued…before it was too late.
And why when we focus on our wounds do the miracles seem ever harder to see?
Flaunting pain. Forgetting freedom. Braving tough things healing has lent us.
Why do we shrink back in the dark when the sunrise is before us? Doesn’t she know freedom has witnessed that which is hardest. And is waving the flag that her suffering is finished?
Doesn’t she see the white flag? Don’t we see the white flag when it is before us?
No. She is not there yet. Ready to reveal to The Light her scars.
And healing. Each man’s journey. For if I could carry her anguish….I would have.
Along time ago.
And I can tell in this child. She is still deciding. What she wants to look like….when she looks within the mirror.
Wounds outward. Identified. Treated. Targeted…..by care.
But, those left abandoned…..in the heart…still hide her story. And those wounds have no quick fixing. No magic solution. No instant healing.
And finding faith through a child so internally scared…..is like digging out treasure from a pile of ashes.
Messy. Slow. Painful.
Suffering one. Desperate for love. Affection. Affirmation.
Needing an eye to see her. An ear to listen. A hope to rest in….apart from her own past internal destruction.
And oh how I wish there was some magic potion to silence the voices that want her back.
Yet, after seven months. Eleven year old foster child. Finally. Coming. And resting in my arms….
Like the infant she is…..inside.
And I see. Yes, I see….healing is coming. Not because I offer it to her….but because she is willing to….
Run toward it. Grab it. Own it. Take it. Crawl up in it’s arms.
Like I crawl inside my Creators arms when I don’t have all the answers.
And that facing the mirror, silencing the past, & relinquishing the will…..is the answer.
Making all the difference.
Linking with Aloha Friday ,Barbie
19 Comments
beautiful…beautiful..two willing people coming together…both being made whole in the process…so thankful…I do continue to pray for you…among others who are pouring love into dear foster children. blessings and strength as you hold her with the Love of christ.
Ro – The faithful prayers of a blessed friend. Thank you, dear sister in Christ for your unrelenting prayers. May His hands be strong as we are weak. ~ jen
Jen, I enjoy your blog but don’t often comment, but today’s post touched a deep place in my heart.
I hope you know how deeply God loves you and appreciates what you are doing in nurturing this precious young person.The most special comment I ever had from a foster child was” you believed in me when everyone else had given up”. I am sure that one day this child will have words to express how your patient loving care made the world of difference.
May God bless you abundantly, as you are blessing others near and far 🙂
Mary – Can’t tell you how your words encourage me! With such a tough time right now for this little girl (on so many levels) I simply try to keep in perspective that He is the Father of the Fatherless, the parent of the orphan, the guide & protector & defender of those most lost. I also try to remember Our precious Savior & no matter how fallen, or broken, or lost we were….how He loved unrelenting, gave so sacrificially & He never gave up on us….regardless of how we resisted! Love your heart gor God’s children! Blessings & thank you for your sweet comment. jen
what a beautifully healing prose.
Aloha,
Following ya now from friendship Fridays. If you’re up for a bit of a ride I’d love it if you’d join me at localsugarhawaii.com and if you’d like you can link up and grow with us today at our ALOHA Friday HOP.
xo,
Nicole
localsugarhawaii.com
Nicole – Just joined you at Aloha Fridays. Blessings, jen
love this quote Jen: There is nothing so rewarding as to make people realize
that they are worthwhile in this world..
Can you share the girl’s first name as I really feel to pray for you both
mgemmill@xtra.co.nz
Mary – Due to the high sensitivity of this case & the fact that it is presently high profile, I am afraid I don’t have the liberty to share her name. I hope you understand. Your prayers are most desperately needed…especially in these next few weeks. Thank you friend, jen
Too many times I turn away from the “white flag” because I’m not ready yet. I go back and forth between letting myself heal and just letting myself be held in His arms. I need to jump back into his arms recently but haven’t been. Thanks for linking up to the S&R hop again. Have a blessed week!
That’s okay God know’s who she is 🙂
I live in New Zealand! So would never know of the case, but am happy to pray as the Holy Spirit Directs when I read of a need like yours.
“Trust Him always; pour out your heart to Him;
God is a refuge for us.”
-Psalm 62:8
May he be YOUR refuge as you provide a refuge for this girl.
Love and blessings, Mary.
Mary – Thank you friend for understanding. I will cling to that verse in Psalms as we walk through this time toward victory! You are a blessing & your prayers a gift. Hiding in the refuge of the Most High, jen
I do hope I am not being annoying?
I have out you on our prayer chain- just asked for prayer for Jen and foster child for peace, wisdom, and for God’s love to prevail.
Do post any progress as they love
” answers”.
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21 NIV
love and prayers,
Mary.
Mary – There is no possible way you could be annoying! The prayers a the righteous one’s availeth much & I so appreciate you petitioning our needs before the Father! THANK YOU!! I will blog as things progress! Bless you my dear sister in Christ! Feeling His hand of grace in all of this as you lift us up before The Father! ~ jen
Phew 🙂 There is a certain liar around who whispers in my ear from time to time lol. I am learning to tell him to SHUT UP!
I agree about the prayers of the righteous availing much. In my many years as a foster Mum- i totally depended on my team of prayer partners!!
One lovely thing I learnt from Dutch Sheets book Intercessor- is that as we stand in the gap and ” parent” another’s child, this action is itself, intercession.
I didn’t have to use words! [ sometimes all we can manage is that deep groan from our spirit, right? !
Today, I sense the Lord speaking to the waves of turmoil, saying to them: Peace, be still.” I surely hope you experience some calm in the midst of it all.
Many blessings from His riches in Glory.
Your sister in Christ, Mary.
Mary – So ironic. Dutch Sheets is coming to our region next week. Love his book, “Intercessory Prayer”. Just wrote a post I have yet to submit on it.
And yes, how I can relate to those times when words have little weight compared to the groaning of the spirit. I love what you said that caring for the orphan IS prayer. Is worship. Sometimes I can almost hear the Father interceding on their behalf. Powerful insight, friend. Thank you!
How’re things, Jen?
I am praying for you often, believing all prayer makes a difference!
May you be strengthened with might in your inner [wo]man- may you have all the gifts needed as you minister in love to your foster child.
God adores you, and is a very real help in times of trouble. I pray you get all the support you need and that in time things will become beautiful between this young one and you.
Hang in there, Jen !
love,Mary.
Mary – A rough few days, but His grace is carrying us through. I find the moment by moment dependence, leaning, & trusting of God through this time is a constant process, but at the same time is building my spiritual muscle. Your prayers are the wind that carries His wings beneath us, my friend. Thank you for your part in my journey. ~ jen
The only way I was able to foster was the faithful prayers of prayer partners. I feel strongly to support you in prayer while you are engaged in nurturing this damaged young person.
This was in a blog post today- may it bless you: What to do when I don’t have the courage to breathe?
You still find me, my Father.
You still reach out Your hand
and rescue me once more.
You tell me once again about Your perfect care
You tell me once again about Your loving kindness.
Your love covers my shame,
Your love beckons me back.
Mercy is written all over Your heart.
Mercy is written all over my life.
http://mylifeasanadventure.com/2012/09/04/a-bad-day/
Mary,
Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful!