When You Think God’s Timing Stinks

I am in a season of waiting.  And waiting is not my strong suit.  Just the word “patience” makes me…..well……impatient.

Especially when I see a tide of difficulty coming toward me and I cannot stop it.

I mean, after all, who doesn’t want to act…..when life gets complicated and filled with obstacles needing plowed over…..by sheer will power, big engines, talked about legacies of strength?

I mean……Who doesn’t want to stop the storm, beat the crowd, get in line, and make things happen…..at least every once in a while?

But, in these very specific matters…..God has called me to rest. Wait.  Be still.  And trust Him.

And oh how the words I have declared….like…..”I trust Him”…..become more embedded when I can’t move or go anywhere or do anything……but wait.

And with the 100th Anniversary of the Titanic sinking…..there is a story passed down in my ancestry.  It is of my Great-Grandfather, on my Mother’s side…..wanting to come to America.

He had heard of this great opportunity.  One that made all of His worries cease.

It was of a job.  A good job.  One that would cure His financial woes and let him use his physical skills.

Aboard a ship.

And oh, how everyone must of thought this job was the equivalent of winning the lottery.  Getting to en-devour on an adventure that many, I am sure, had been talking about….and dreaming about.

But at this time…..my Great-Grandfather was not that different from me.  He had to wait.  In a line of people.  All seeking jobs aboard this ship.

And how often have we been pinned in by two ropes.  Feeling trapped, like we can’t move forwards or backwards?

But, then, one by one people before him shuffled forward in line.  Boarding The Ship.

Until, it came to him.

“We are done.  We don’t need anymore workers.  You can go home.”

And imagine the disappointment that pierced His soul.  The questions?

What?  I waited all this time?  I spend all day out in the sun….trusting that this would be the answers to all of my pleadings?

Did God not hear me?

Why did He not come and give me exactly what I wanted?  Why did he seem to overlook me?

Why did I not cut in line.  Or somehow speed up time…..so that I could have been there earlier?  Voyaging with this talked about legacy and all these wealthy people?

And I imagine his disappointment. So relating to his shattered expectations.  His downcast soul when life doesn’t bring fruition like we think it will.

But was God good nevertheless?  Of course He was….of course He is.  Still.

And as I click the keys on this laptop before me.  And count the costs of what it means to follow Christ’s way instead of mine…..

I think…..

Maybe He sees the end of the story.  The depths of the seas.  The icebergs we’ve missed.  The people and places that come after our story. The one’s effected by my many choices….and ultimately…the will of God.

Maybe….just maybe…..He knew…..I wouldn’t actually be here…..

If my Great-Great-Grandfather would have boarded that ship.  The Titanic.

And give us my will.  Trusting not in how I feel…..but in .the goodness of God….

And His timing.

Linking w/ Jen @ Imperfect Prose, Tracy, WLW,