It’s been awhile. But, then, it’s Mother’s Day. And she has no children.
I creep in. Unnoticed. Just a silhouette. Me. Her niece. Forgotten a long time ago. All because of Alzheimers.
But, this time. So close to death. Her mis-wired head….leaves her with no words.
And she is absolutely beautiful.
And why is the silence…..most captivating, at times? The speechless…carry the greatest vocabularies?
As I bend down and listen to what the stillness wants to say. I remember….
Long ago. Eyes danced. Life sparkled. Out the soul. Into all around her…..
But today. She just lay quiet. There in a nursing home. As my regrets of abandoning her all seem to surface.
Struggling with my thoughts and my emotions….when she was the one left trying to remember who her closest kin were.
So, I bend down and whisper in her ear. Tears covering. Dripping onto this silent angel now left without jumbled words…..or trembling fears.
“I am sorry.”
And just as soon as this confession of regret shatters the guilt that once covered my fears.
The memories come flooding back….
- Of the pillow she sowed from each letter of my name.
- The ornaments she sent each holiday.
- The stuffed animals she made.
- The letters she had created. Each hand penned to me specifically.
But, most of all…..I remember the prayers that she prayed. On her knees. In a humble house. In Florida.
And how I know that each prayer came, shattered heaven, and turned my life completely around…..All because God hears the hearts of the humble.
And what if we knew heaven shook each time we offered a silent word for those we loved?
How much more would we….would I…..pray? Humble. Faith full. Resilient.
And as years dance before my face….I whisper so graciously, last words in her ear…
“Thank you”.
Then. Last night. I could not sleep. Woke up at 3:00. Wondering what was plaguing me. Interceded best I could. (What I usually do when I cannot sleep.)
But, still I lay there. Restless. Wondering what was happening……that somehow my mind couldn’t understand.
7:30 a.m., I get a call.
Your aunt slipped into her Fathers arms last night. And at last….
- Alzheimer.
- A strong, almost century year old woman.
- Her prayers.
- Her Faith.
All seems to make sense now.
And I am ever so thankful for my prayer warrior. Now standing amongst the Great Cloud of Witnesses.
Looking down……from Heaven….
Where there is no Alzheimers.
Linking w/ Ann @ A Holy Experience, Michelle @ Hear it on Sunday, Laura @ Wellspring, On, In, & Around Monday
13 Comments
I’m sorry for your loss, but so happy for your dear Aunt!
Oh what a tender story…and what a sweet gift from God to give you that moment with her…and so thankful she is now free…blessings to you~
Wow! So powerful! Thank you for sharing!
– viiting from Ann’s and I will definately be coming bsck soon.
Elizabeth – Thanks, dear one. Praising Him that she is rejoicing now!
Ells – God is just amazing isn’t He? His timing. The way He works. His ways….so far above our ways. Many blessings back, dear friend.
what a loving tribute to your aunt…so glad you had a chance to visit with her and that she is now rejoicing with the Lord…Blessings…
what a poignant story…so glad you had time with her and that she is with Jesus in joy…
What a sweet post…couldn’t get through it without tears. Love your website. Thank you for sharing.
Death where is your sting… it is swallowed up in victory!
Kari – So nice to welcome you!
Dolly – Thanks for your sweet sentiments.
Pam – THANK YOU!! That means so much!
Wendy – Amen, my friend!! Death…where IS your sting!!?? 🙂
SO beautiful are your stories. What a gift she gave you in those memories. I try and remember when I am struggling with having a picture taken, that one day, when I am old some one might want to reminess about me. And though the camera will never show what I want it to, the picture will bring back the memories of me. And I pray like your aunt that those memories are full of God moments and grace and love. A legacy worth leaving. Because once we leave, on that heavenly day we get to meet Our Savior, I will have no sorrow in my heart and I hope that my family doesn’t sorrow for me. There is no better place! Blessing to you!
Brownie – Wow! Your comment brought shivers! Oh yes, what a glorious day! Rejoicing at just the thought of it! Blessings, Jen
What a beautiful post. Rejoicing that your aunt is forever with Jesus. May God comfort you in your loss.
Thank youfor sharing these tender moments with us, Jen. How sweet a goodbye. My prayers for your family during this time of loss and remembering.