Some people think it strange. Many have no problem with it. But for some reason, I just can’t do it.
I just love constantly filling my brain. And I guess my logic stems from….
If it’s been inputted in my brain….and if I need previously learned information…..it will resurface it in my mind, when applicable.
So I never read a book twice. Or watch a movie twice for that matter. I know, kind of strange.
But one book (apart from the Bible) is an exception.
Oswald Chambers.
“My Utmost for His Highest”.
A hidden treasure. Found in simple pages. A devotional really.
Full of truth. Scripture. Inspiration.
And it’s no wonder, when I grab it, pages fall out of my hands. Dancing to the floor, in a way, almost celebrating.
Book read left in literally, two.
And how I want to be like that in every way. Unlike the tidy, clean, untouched books in my shelf on display.
I want to be used, crinkled, touched by my Father’s Hands…..so much so….that I am not whole….cannot be whole…..unless He picks up the pieces and holds me together.
And it’s no wonder, the page left from this Profound Collection of Insights severed, was “Sanctification”.
About reduction. Stripping. And the question underlined on those pages…..
“Am I willing and determined to hand over my simple naked self to God?”
And as I gather fallen pages scattered along the floor. I realize it’s time to leave pages as they are.
And let God be the glue to hold the binding of what’s been broken.
And I read of Paul a few pages later. Book in pieces. Scattered across my lap.
“Natural human love expects something in return.” But Paul says to those he loves,
“It doesn’t really matter to me whether you love me or not. I am willing to be completely destitute anyway; willing to be poverty-stricken, not just for your sakes, but also that I may be able to get you to God.”
And it talks about washing feet. And how Jesus most powerful witness wasn’t just His teaching….
But His washing.
And I wonder….Are we willing to wash each other’s feet? No not just our friends feet. But our accusers? Those most offending? Our greatest enemies?
And oh how the broken pages of my own worn down, read up, underlined and highlighted text in pieces, left lifeless on my lap….
Speaks of real love.
Powerful love. Willing to die love. The kind that uses up. Shed’s tears. And has nothing left over when it’s given out.
And where do we find that kind of love when we look around? The kind that doesn’t run, or flee, or care if pages are left scattered on the floor for all to see.
The broken bread kind of life….willing to be poured out for others. Will we be it?
And how Christ….became this book. This raged thing. Looking at it now. Seeming somehow unholy for me to pick up the piece and glue it back together.
So, I leave it.
And I see that Christ did not only become torn like the veil…and my book…..in two. But rejoiced in it.
And oh, how I want to rejoice.
Thinking of The Whole One now. And how….He can honestly attest…
“I know what your going through”
And…..
“I love you enough to die for you.”
So instead of taping. And pasting. And neatly rearranging my scattered book before me. Setting it tiding in my flawless shelf with books on health and perfect living.
I take the pieces. Set it a part.
Reflecting upon the symbolism with great wonderment and appreciation.
This Easter.
Gratitude remembering…..What my glorious Savior went through.
All because of Love.
10 Comments
Hi Jen – beautiful post. i started blogging shortly before Easter last year and for me, Easter is what Christianity is all about. For me Christmas is cool but Easter, easter is where its at. i am so grateful to Christ for His sacrifice. Have a great weekend friend
God bless
Tracy
your post Jen is amazingly powerful. I’m in….I want this kind of scattered messed up life. I’m so far from loving the way He did. I want revenge at times…to hit back when hurt….to fight for what someone takes from me….but after reading your beautiful awesome post…..I step back…suck in a breathe and whisper….yes to living different. Have a beautiful Saturday.
Tracy – So true, my friend! Easter is where it’s at! ;0)
Sarah – Your comment moved my heart. Oh, how I can relate. To hit back, take revenge, fight for what someone takes from us. Yet, I am reminded of our beautiful Savior….who did not even cry out when crucified to His cross. Oh, that we may be like Him…in our worst trials, our most horrendous suffering….to speak not a breath. Make not a sound. But, let Him defend us. Even if our suffering takes us to our cross and leads us to our death. Blessing to you today, my friend. Again, a touching comment to me personally. Thank you!
Jen…oh I love utmost..this was the first book given to me along with a bible when i came to the Lord…I think I can quote most of the book:)…and what painting job you did here…the book and our lives…Oh so thankful…how He comes…takes all the broken pieces and makes us whole. Blessings to you….
You write in such an interesting manner. I read books more than once too. If I haven’t read it in a few years, it’s almost like a new book. Maybe I’m getting old. LOL
And of course we can read the Bible many many times and always see something we didn’t see before. Thank you for sharing this thought provoking post.
Blessings,
Charlotte
Hi Jen,
Your post is beautiful and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing it. (I stopped over from Fresh Brewed Sundays.)
Ells – Yes, only a glorious Savior could take our broken pieces and make beauty, my friend. We have just too many similarities! 🙂
Charlotte – So good to read your comment. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. Blessings.
Laura – So glad you came to visit. Thanks for the encouragement.
Hi Jen~ I am visiting today for the first time from a Fresh Brewed Life. Your post was one of the most beautiful I have ever read. You have a way with words. I have My Utmost for His Highest as well. It’s one of my favorite devotionals.
First time to visit your blog. Saw your post through ” spiritual sundays” I began reading one by one, have more to go and I can’t help it but to admire how God and HIs words works for each and everyone in many different ways. And it gives inspiration to the readers. Thanks for sharing.
Shari – Thanks for your visit and taking the time to stop and comment. Utmost is powerful, life changing, and convicting…isn’t it? So thankful for men of God like Chambers who are willing to hear His voice and speak it in truth. Thanks again for stopping by.
Joy – Glad to have you! Thanks for popping by and taking the time to look around and read. May His heart speak to each in His perfect way and His Spirit minister in perfect grace. Hope to see you around here again in days to come. Many blessings to you.