When You Air Your Dirty Laundry For All To See

“How are you?”  I hear with unsympathetic contempt.  From the one with twisted intent. Those that you try to run from when church service is over. You know them?

And tight grips that once kept my life circumstances from slipping through gossiping lips……does not work anymore.

Palms are open.  My story is out there for all to see.

And I try with all my might…….loving…..those eagerly spreading “prayer requests” for their own personal benefit.

Yet, God has given me grace for this.  Of that, I am certain.  And so I hold onto truth…..as if it was my very breath.

Clinging to the fact that……..airing dirty laundry…..is so much freer that keeping it bundled in a basket where no body can see it. 

Left there. Unnoticed.  Pretending that dirty laundry doesn’t stink.

And how transparency breeds transparency.  And how sin is meant to strengthen us so we will learn how to walk in personal freedom.

Victory. With….

Jesus.

And how our stories become our testimonies. Our Redemption.  If we let them.

Being honest…..so much more freeing than coming to church and just pretending……that everything is alright.

And the eggs that I once placed  tight under my wings….have either grown legs and walked away.  Or have been cracked for all to see.

But, I don’t care.

And as I share with the world my testimony. So many divulge that their baskets aren’t neatly tucked away with flawless eggs like many thought.

Either.

Many just fear truth. Deny their pain.  And in doing so, ignore the stench of broken eggs.

And instead live in secret.  And find and paint rocks….white……placing them underneath them.  Presenting them safely under their wings…..so that everything will look alright.

On the outside.

But, I have never been good at living a lie.  I like it….  Real.  Honest.  Open. Wearing what I am.  Even if I am standing there. Alone. Naked.

And oh, how I can relate to those that play games. And live lies. And hide in fear. Just to put on a good image for those that lack grace for the fallen.

It’s so much easier.

And, I am learning with my broken eggs…..to not just sit there….and stare at them…..and become a spectacle of my brokenness……But to make scrambled eggs. When life gets messy.

And above all……..to keep on worshiping.

For true victory is not in the dynamics of family.  Or the perfection of our household.  Or the way in which we portray ourselves to the world.  


But, whether we will keep worshiping…..despite it all.

So, I stand tall.  Apart from my circumstances.  Pointing high in worship to the one who promises……that on this tight rope I walk upon in this life….that I will never fall.

He is the cord gripping.  Tight. I can almost feel Him.  And it is beautiful.  It is o.k.  It is safe.  I can once and for all let go.  And trust Him.

And church ends.  I am Hungry.  One’s look upon me.  Puzzling.

And I hear them say……”How can you be so happy?”  And I know what they are thinking……My world is lain out like dirty laundry for all to see it…

Yet, I am still smiling.

And then a near stranger comes up to me and says…….

“You look so radiant.  You are beaming today.”

And I don’t know what to say?  I want to laugh and show them my personal resume of the hardships and my pain.


But, all I can do is point to Jesus.

And God is grace.  He is with us.  Of that much for sure. I am certain.  So I smile graciously.  And desperately desire to say…..

I can worship…..We all can….when we know that we know….that God saves….and that He is good despite it all.

And I walk away…knowing…..God calls us on different journeys. Though He is with us each one individually.

Because this life and all we endure is simply for a season.  Only for a day…..

Yes….

God is good…..

And…….

It’s all going to be o.k.