When We Run From God

When my son was little, he was a runner. He darted in stores.  Down streets.  And ran with great fever, wherever he went.

To keep Him close…..so he wouldn’t get hurt……we found a long, rainbow Safety Leash that we wrapped around his waist.

It had a handle on one end that we would double up around our wrist.

That way.  In the fair.  At the mall.  On any amusement type trips. Where sounds and sights called.  We could always make sure he was within arms length.

At the time, we were young parents.  This was our first child.  And we were terribly fearful when our only son was out of sight.

See, he didn’t talk very well.  And as he struggled to communicate, we knew he would not be able to verbalize where he was or where he went.

And we knew he would not be able to find his way back if he got lost.

And in remembering this time…..it just makes me ask? Why in good times, is it easy to know God is with us?

And what about bad times?  Do we believe….He is still there?

Or do the lies seep in…..

God is not good?  God could not love us?  If God really cared…..He never would have let this happen to us.

And we drift.  Drift from the God we love.  Like a little boy on a tether.

Like a child being drawn by carnival sites.  Lured by delights he sees with his physical eyes……Instead of clinging to the God who loves him.

Yet, I remember well, when I was one.  The blind one wandering by promises of wealth and perfect living. The child so caught up and continually running….to whatever the world offered…..climbing ladders to self achievement.

But like clenched hands grabbing sand…..the tighter I clung…..the emptier my hands.

And when the circus noises died…..I would wander, trying to find…….my Father once again.  Thinking He for sure had left me this time.  Lost for good.  No more hope for redemption. 

Unable to see him in the dark.  Unable to hear Him.

Ears muted by my own sin….Eyes blinded by my own heart.  Mind clouded by my own self-righteousness.

Thinking……when I ran.  I left the God I love.  And He left me.

But now, today, in this season.  Arms cling to The Father I need.  And I am reminded of My Savior’s faithfulness that says….

“I will never leave or forsake you.”

And though we may have painted ourselves into a corner of hopelessness.  Wandered to the darkness.  Made bad choices. Or tried to cut and chew and severe the cord that holds us……

Jesus is still near.  Holding the handle.  Drawing us back to His loving arms.

And even in our Job moments…..when the world and those that we think are closest to us, shout condemning statements…..

We can hold on and trust and believe….God will never leave us!

So, the question pleads….

Do you believe?  Yes, do you believe……He has a child safety cord wrapped around you?   

A tether of grace continually keeping you….

Close to The One who loves you?

Psalms 139:7-8

   Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
   If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

Emily @ Imperfect Prose & Women In The Word & Women Living Well