Throwing New Years Resolutions in the Trash…..already!!

New.  Beginning again.  Starting over.  Fresh.  Change.  Different.  Wiped Clean.

Have you heard them?  Have you been…..the one wanting a new start?

Have you stopped and looked back and thought……“This past year was challenging, difficult, hard”?

Have you been wanting a white canvas to begin painting on again?

I have been there.  Wanting past years to disappear.  And thought…..New resolutions.  A new direction.  New hopes and dreams, goals, and directives…..would change my life course.  Somehow.  For the better.

Yet, this year, I think differently. This year I see this white palette before me.  This clean slate.  Starting over.  Just a longing for more of Jesus.

Greater Redemption.

See, I wonder….if instead, every heart cry, every defeat, every throwing up our hands to say…..we didn’t complete what we thought we should do, wanted to do, or really tried to do……is just a subtle, whisper, gentle clue…..we really just need Jesus?

For, didn’t He say…..“I will make you new…..as white as the driven snow?”

And, “Your mercies are new……..every single morning?” 

And yet, we write with carnal pens of hope.  Make lists.  Try with better effort…..which doesn’t do anything.  Really.

When, only grace is our healer.  Surrender, our stepping stone. Wiping away the old…..has no chance alone…….without the power of the blood of Jesus. 

With Him.  A new beginning.  Each day.  Each confession.  Each step we take admitting….we have no power apart from Him. 

And yet, I read, and hear, and face so many……that struggle in their yesterdays. Pushing through and striving to be somehow more than what they hope or think……

Skinnier.  Smarter.  Prettier.  Trying harder. Doing more.  Being more. Somehow…..someway…..in their own strength…Something greater than before.  

Swallowing somewhat empty air….trying to work their way to holiness, perfection, goodness.  I know this. Because I did this.

But, who are we…..any of us….really……to strive our way to God? Who of us have any holiness….apart from the Savior who delivered us?

And I ask myself after years of failed attempts. Is the New Year about grabbing, getting, owning, striving just a little bit harder, farther, better than ever before?  Or should this New Year be about no more, no less than……simply letting go? 

And it seems, I have in the past, made life so hard.

When love acknowledges…..apart from Him……I will never be enough.

And if I was enough…..why would I need a Savior?

And I come to discover……Newness is found in nothing I do.  All life and hope and joy and delight and prosperity……found only through….the blood of Jesus.

And I laugh at my foolishness.  My vain attempts to strive my way to happiness.  The me-try that usually ends in failed attempts……by February of each year.

And I take my lists that are all about me.  And toss them in trash.

For, after all this time….I finally see……I don’t want to be a better me….In fact, I don’t want to be a “me” at all. I want people to look at me and see Jesus.

As I read Mark Driscoll say,

“Jesus does not make us better…..but new.”

So, maybe it’s not about a bigger, better, any new improved model of me.

But…..relaying on a Savior to do what we can’t do for ourselves. 

Throwing in the landfill all five steps to being smarter and wealthier….all those things appealing only to the world.

For doesn’t the Word say, “God is no respecter of persons”?

And, maybe it’s about dependency…..not self-sufficiency.  Weakness….not any of our own power or strength.

Maybe life is about something more than performance, and ability, and our own hope to grow to be, new improved versions of ourselves.

Maybe it’s about the surrender.  The giving up.  The asking.  The needing to be delivered.

Maybe it’s about Him starting over……….in us…..through us.  Despite us.

Yes, maybe it’s about us…..yes, us…..in our fleshly and human state…..Simply trusting.

And……Could it be……even if 2012 brings discontent and disarray……..Could it be, about faith?  Do we believe……

God is still the same? 

Maybe the question is not about how I am going to change……

But about the laying down…..and believing…..God alone is enough.  He is good.  Never changes. And loves us…..no matter what.  

He is faithful.  Just. Still Sovereign throughout all time and circumstance.

Capable, trustworthy, immoveable, and unshaken……

Regardless of what tomorrow brings……

Yes maybe, just maybe, 2012 should be less about us and more about Jesus?

So, this year instead of thinking somehow, someway, I could ever be a better me…..through self-centered, works salvation or achievements…….

I surrender.  I Give up.  And instead of wanting more of self….. I throw my hands up…..and make a conscious, intentional, purposeful determination……to do no more than……simply trust.

Lay it down.  Believe…..Without doubt or question or recounting my confession that……

God is enough.

Throwing all attempts at me-centered achievements in the trash.  Letting go of me.  And believing.  Once and for all.  Completely.  Christ alone is all I need.  He is enough!

Regardless of what…..

Tomorrow brings.