On Top of the World. A “hello” and “goodbye”.

I stand in the center of a map of the world.  Call2All Conference in L.A.  And I hear a voice.  Familiar. Deep. Coming from behind.  The piece of me I have so longed to see…..

And there you are.  Tan.  Tall.  Shining bright before all.

And you look different:  Older.  Wiser.  Brighter…….with the light of Jesus.

And I grip time in my arms.  Not letting you go, this piece of my heart…..returning to me after months apart.

And the strong one….denial…..has no chance.  As tears flood face.  Arms wrap around you.

And I ask….

How could my tiny bundle, now be this strong man, held in my arms?

……The question every mother eventually asks of her growing young child.


And how strange to find my son, birthed, here….in this middle ground, this place…..Surrounded by hundreds of people.

Standing on a map of the world.

The significance of it all. 

And heart seals moments.  Where infant returns to His mom…..as a man.  

All seems complete.  As the world seems to circle around us.

Here.  Love has no barriers.  Place.  Distance. Worries.

Just us two.  Alone. Embracing……as the world disappears. 

And any words….. would pollute…..this moment.  This……remembering between us two.

But, then arms must let loose.  For even time cannot be contained forever.

And we walk and talk and be.  Together.

You share how God has called you, to the Philippines.  How they have asked you from YWAM to be a leader.

And I am proud.  There is God heart behind your purpose.

I listen.

Life leaping.  I see it.  Inside you: Hope. Joy. Wisdom.  Patience.

And the man I see…..I know…..has been chiseled out of distance.

And now……tomorrow you leave.  Across far seas.  With His Spirit inside you.  Love clearly beating…..

Nothing holding you back from His dream….His purpose.  Ripe…..in you.

And I am proud……..Proud as any mom could ever be.

The purposes He has for you….coming to season.

And what can I tell you my son….

But…..

Grip faith.  Hold tight to the firm foundation that no matter the circumstances….never shakes.

Stay strong.  There is no real strength apart from God.  He is the rock.  The immoveable stone.

Remember your purpose.  Embrace this High Calling before you…..

And hold tight to God who…….saved you, loves you, pursues you…..With an everlasting love.

The kind that even moms, and dads, and friends, and family…….have barely even tasted of.

For breakfast and lunch and dinner each day.  Eat well.  His Word.  The Living Word that is Spirit and life.

And as you go over the waters and will likely be living by the water….keep drinking, my son…..the Living Water…..

The one that makes you thirst no more. The one that will never run dry.

Keep your eyes on Him. Your path straight.  Looking neither to the left or the right…..or behind.

Live full.  Live strong.  Live in this moment in time……

Nothing good ever comes from looking back.

Let His light be your life.  His voice be your direction.

Trust the one who is gentle and patience…..and kind.

Hold tight my son.  And stay pliable and soft.  The tenderness I see in your eyes as we eat lunch……

Is evidence of His work on the cross.  And if need be……

Let Him continue to break through, whatever needs to be undone.

Let nothing or no one keep you from the fullness of His power.  You are the hope of the world.

In you is life and light and the choice to…..be the hands and feet of Christ.

Live brave.  And courageous.  Find strength from Him…..only Him…..

And don’t let time or people or questions….hold you back from the now before you.

You are not a boy anymore, my son.  You are a man.  A God Child living, blooming, being…….a witness for His goodness.

What a gift.

And thank you……thank you for being you.  I never needed more or less or different from the one God made you.

You were always enough.  Did you know that?

And I love you…..

When waters wash up and try to carry memories away……

The anchor in my heart for you will always keep you here in place….deep…..within my soul.  The home a mother always has…..for her one and only son.

Though you are far.  Though I don’t know when you are coming home from what God is calling you to do…..

I am proud of you, my son 

You are the gift God used, to change my life forever.  I am thankful for that. So, thankful for you.

I believe in you.

May the God of the Universe….the Creator of Heaven and Earth….the Maker of the entire world……go before you.

I love you.  Forever…..
Mom

Linking this post w/ Thankful Thursday& Jen @ Finding Heaven