Thankful for Offense…..And Other Relative Issues.

We have been going along fine. One year after hosting a small group.  Something God told my husband to do…..a decade ago.

But, I refused.

Until, one night….I see an image of people filling our living room…..in a dream.  And I heard a voice from heaven say…..

“Many will come in.  And many will go out changed.”

And pastor asked…..almost a year ago today….”Can you lead a small group”?

And this time, I knew…..regardless of my inhibitions, fears, and expectations….I must obey.  

So we open our doors to fellowship.  And things have been going along great.

Until….. 

Many gathered and prayed about what study to do next.  And many came back saying……”I think we should study, marriage.”  So we agreed with them.  And ran ahead….and bought a study.

“Love and Respect”.

And I thought….Leading on marriage should be a cinch.   After all, we have been together nineteen years.

Until tonight.

Husband slips.  Says some not so loving things.  And I feel inadequate.

And childhood wounds reveal themselves again.  Denial resurfacing as public offense……caused from husband’s own pain from His parent’s divorce.

And I remember the words……“Hurt people…..Hurt people.”

So, I try to smile graciously.  Continuing our study.  And move on……

As others share…..“Divorce seems easier.  Marriage seems better the second time around.”

And I think of scripture.  And try to fit the marriage picture…..and offending relatives……in perspective.

Doesn’t it always help to get perspective?

And I begin to see the Godhead.

He…..the husband.

Us….the church…..in a white dress.

Yet, prior to the wedding…..there is some distress.  Fire.  Refining.  Purifying. 

And I am thankful this husband…..the one true husband……doesn’t divorce us.  The church.  Every time we slip up……or go the wrong way.   Or offend him…..in our hearts or heads.

And I begin to ask…..

How many times do we fail Him?  The bride not so white?  Our words not so lovely?

And I am thankful for His marriage ties.  His covenant.  That doesn’t let go……when my issues rise….trying to smother….or reject….or distance myself from the love of Christ.

And while praying.  “Hosea” comes flashing in my mind.

Hosea was a prophet who God called to marry a harlot.  Who was unfaithful…..time and time again.

But yet, God said, “Don’t leave her.”

For your life will be an example……of My love for my people.  Never failing.  Never offended.  Never letting go…..no matter what they do.

And I become convicted…..

Who am I to say how I should and should not be treated?

If offense got through the filter of God……from my husband…..to me……then, I should quietly, patiently, humbly receive it.

And ask through it…..”Lord, what are you trying to teach me?”

Knowing He is still good…..despite how others might treat me. 

Just then, husband…..publicly repents.  And it seems strange in front of so many.  But, I try to graciously receive it.

And I have to, in my mind, ask…..

When we offend our Husband…..Christ…..Do we go to Him so quickly and ask forgiveness?

Or just pretend like nothing happened…..and go on living?

Then, door closes.  Last one leaving.  And I am ready to retreat after house filled with people.

But, as I brush my teeth.  Get ready for bed.  Songs of praise rise in my head.

And I find myself giving thanks, instead…..of holding grudge…..like I might have used to do.

Recollecting the God words once shared years earlier…..

“Many will come in.  And many will go out changed.”

But, I would have never guessed……

The one He most changed….would have been……us.

Using offense……to clearly see Jesus….and His unfailing, perfect, unrelenting love……for His people.

And for this…..I are thankful.

Linking this post with Emily & Tracy & Titus Tuesdays