Refuting Bitterness

I saw our son that left home again yesterday.  Age two.  Had him since birth.

Running.  Playing.

Hugs eternal. A kiss.  A smile.  To get to look him in his eyes.  An assurance from me, “I love you”. Bitterness shattered. Healing truth.

His new mom. So sweet. Tender. Kind.  Walks with Jesus in perfect time.

Regrets, once frozen. Heavy release.  A deep, abiding, tender peace.

Rejoicing! 

God is good.  Always. Despite the furry of our ways. The loss.  The cost. The blindness from the little things that blur the cross.

The fight in court. I remember it well.  Pleading with tears to save this child. Into darkness threatening to fall.  But into a Christian home, He was called…a place where they love Jesus well.

The knowing. I must let him go.  The hard, long process, to do that well. 

A freedom from control.

Not from child, or duty, or obligation, or call….  But from my own stubborn ways to control His will.

His timing.  Perfect. The letting go.  Bitter-sweet. The tears, the pain, the insecurities…Yet, He paves a way.

Bringing two halves, together again.  An answer to prayer, My Faithful Friend.

A God so good to hear our prayers.  The silent cries we plead within.  The gracious God who hears our ache…demonstrating love in all His ways.

A Sovereign God, knowing better than I.  Why try moving forward in selfish pride? When He is watching, waiting, listening….and always, always knows better than I.

The letting go.  Easier. In all things…The God of Grace making a way.

The letting go. Indefinite.  Yet, I embrace him again, long after raising him.

A sigh of relief…He is alright. We will survive.

I must trust.  I must believe…His ways…so much better than mine.