Would I do it again? The question lingers…
Take on an infant? A consuming, drug exposed, consequence of society. Government. Irresponsibility.
Embrace the failings of a mothers choices. Hear the noise…of aches, pains, withdrawals…abandonment?
Know…this child fights for hope. Struggling to breath. Seizures. Spasms. Difficulty eating.
Comfort the lifeless limbs. Hold the tiny bones of a premature infant. Hear aggravating, heart bellowing screams as it’s body aches for more…
Of crack, or meth, or alcohol…warmth.
To be held. Not held. Rocked. Not rocked. Soothed. Not soothed. Each child unique. Each prescription varies depending on the drug. Yet, at the same time desperate for their common cry…Love.
Therapy. Lots of therapy for these little ones. But sometimes not. Sometimes immense, indescribable grace. Jesus grace, from above.
Yet, I see them on the streets. In the city. In the arms of the broken..the addicted. And I remember…
My healthy. Beautiful. Laughing. Joyous. Delightful child…used to be one of them. Homeless. Nursed heavy drugs.
And it destroys me. Everything that’s human, alive in me. Everything that professes Christ. Testifies, I’m His child. Declares the truth of Him in me.
And how can I not help? How can I not say yes? Pick up the phone when another child is born. Lost, abandoned, alone. And reach. Reach with Jesus arms and help.
Grab. Hold. Nurture. Care for. Love…
As Jesus would.
Don’t let my life fill up Lord. With foolish me. Fleeting riches. My ambitions. Temporal, meaningless, worldly possessions.
Empty me. Destroy me more, Lord. Till I am only useful…for Your Kingdom. Work. The work you have called me to do.
Restoring. Redeeming. Going to battle for….
The orphaned among us.
He beckons us….
Are we listening?
22 Comments
That is so beautiful! I admire you so much for what you do. It has always been on my heart to adopt, not a new baby, an older child who like you described really needs someone to love them and take them in. I am hoping that God puts this desire on my husbands heart. What a beautiful expression of honesty and love!
Sarah – Thank you for your kind words. My heart leaps for joy that God has put the desire in your heart to adopt an older child! Sadly, we as a society often only hear of the hardships of adoption, especially w/ older children. However, I encourage you! God can do anything! And love conquers all! My prayers will be with you & that God will move on the heart of your husband, in His way & His timing! Thanks for sharing & for stopping by! Held by Grace, Jen
Absolutely beautiful! My husband and I want to adopt when we are on our feet better. Right now we live with his parents because he is not working. However, we plan to adopt older children as well. I am so excited you found me (and consequently I found you!) I love your words.
In Jesus’ name 🙂
Thanks Cora for coming by. Rejoicing that so many hearts overflow w/ desires to adopt…especially older children. God is amazing how He works. I truly believe that He just waits for our, “Yes”…whatever His call is on our lives…and He does the rest! So glad we found each other too! Have a blessed day! ~ Jen
Beautiful! Just beautiful. Thanks for sharing your talent. A new follower from blog frog! http://www.rebeccadunning.com or http://www.rebeccalynndunning.blogspot.com.
Jen – I also admire what you do. Many people wouldn’t have the courage…
Blessings,
Joan
Rebecca – It was so fun checking out both of your blogs. Thanks for stopping by & for your comment!
Joan – Thanks for the feedback. Truth is…it is nothing in me…ALL about Him! Trust me, apart from Him I have no strength, courage or anything else of my own. Hope to connect w/ you again soon! ~ Jen
Just beautiful, Jen! So touching. Such a wonderful thing to adopt. May the Lord bless you for your decision.
Thank you so much lynnMosher. It has been more of a blessing to embrace His children than I could have ever imagined! ~ Jen
That’s wonderful. Praise God that you’re doing this, it’s so necessary.
Blessings,
Char
The Epic Adventures of a Modern Mom
http://1epicmom.com
Thanks for the comment Char.
You are my brave heart…letting God make you brave.
You have done our “someday”…trusting Him.
But we are open to that someday.
After two other adoptions.
We’re open to this if He leads.
And this post is close to my heart.
Thank you.
For inspiring me and for following Him down this path.
We’ll see if He leads us there.
I hope so…
So beautiful, and such powerful words. I love the part where you said, “Don’t let my life fill up Lord. With foolish me.” It’s so convicting and yet motivating to get out of one’s self, one’s own paradigm, and seek what the Lord desires.
Rachel
Beautiful, painful. Truth and challenge. Thanks for living the painful call of loving as Christ does.
Hey Jen! Thank you for checking out my blog. You have a wonderful site. I love your profile. You sound like a wonderful person. Just so you won’t be turned off from my blog, I usually post every night, but right now I am on vacation and we are camping and fishing at different lakes, some which have Internet and some which don’t, therefore I will probably be posting spiratically for the next month. I hope you will bear with me until I get back into my regular schedule. God Bless,
PJ
Kara – Thank you so much for sharing! How neat that God has graced you for adopting twice prior. What a huge blessing! So exciting to see where God leads…isn’t it! Wishing your family well! ~ jen
Rachel – Yes, the continual struggle to get out of oneself & focus outward & upward instead. The perpetual struggle against the flesh. If it were not for grace, I don’t know where any of us would be…
Lisa & PJ. Thanks for your feedback.
Yes, Lisa. A painfully wonderful call. One that only draws us closer to him! 🙂
P.J. I totally understand about your blog. “Life” & “Family” have to come first. So glad you get to spend some time enjoying both of those! Will keep connected…for sure!
What a beautiful and heart felt post!! You have a gift with words too! Following you now from the weekend blog hop! Would love a visit @ http://simplyyousimplyme.com/
Dawn – Thank you. I love youe blog title! Made me smile! Just became your newest follower! Hope to connect more with you in days to come! ~ Jen
beautiful blog
follow back at alaskamonkeys.blogspot.com