I cried myself to sleep last night. She turned eighteen. All my attempt to bottle up that infant staring the world straight in the face….futile. I thought I could stop time. I thought I was God. Confining that two foot, little girl in a flowing dress,and sparkly shoes in the crevasses of my mind. But that […]
I don’t know what came over her. Like a seed, lying dormant. Coming alive. In that in-between. Child exiting to women-hood. This morning. Not speaking. Her silence. Deafening. Like the white page I look at. Before typing. Pure. Barren. Sacred. Holy. Careful, so as not to stain a page….Waiting for answers. And why is…. Wonder always […]
Strength. Character. An unshakeable burden for truth. A defender. An anchor. Resilient through and through. A listening ear. A man of few words. An immoveable shoulder that would hold his little girl….when the pain of this life offered no words. But, most of all….with my Dad……I remember how we danced. My tiny feet carefully balanced…..on his […]
What does it mean to be a “good” mother? I have often asked and wondered. Going into parenting, 19 years ago, I was oblivious to it’s description. I boiled rice. Burnt toast. Struggled with the all night need to rock and hold my babies. And not sleeping, of course. I had no idea how to wash […]
That was one thing I said I would never do. Yes, I would stretch myself, open my home, care for the infant like God wanted me to…. But I said it…“I will never have an older foster child.” There can be attachment issues. Past histories of abuse. So much baggage that I questioned His power through […]
I saw our son that left home again yesterday. Age two. Had him since birth. Running. Playing. Hugs eternal. A kiss. A smile. To get to look him in his eyes. An assurance from me, “I love you”. Bitterness shattered. Healing truth. His new mom. So sweet. Tender. Kind. Walks with Jesus in perfect time. Regrets, […]