Thanks for checking out, “Why Adoption”. Let me start by sharing a little about our journey. As most of you know, we have been foster parents for 13 years.
But why adopt? Why not just keep giving babies homes? Why commit to making the life-time sacrifice of giving a little one a forever home?
A little about my past…
Seeds to Adoption
Adoption has been a part of my life from the earliest time I can remember….
- My best friend & neighbor in elementary school was an adopted African American girl who grew up in a Caucasian home. I grew up respecting her humble mom who cared for her husband and five children alone and loving this large, Christian family.
- My brother’s best friend throughout his entire childhood, was also our neighbor, an Indian adopted child also brought up in a Caucasian family. He was a gifted baseball pitcher and was at my house almost daily. He become somewhat of a brother to me.
- My eldest brother (which we didn’t find until later in life) had been adopted out at birth. The day after my daughter was born, we became reunited. It was then I saw the biological component, He looked like us, drove the same kind of car and did river rafting, just like the brother I was raised with. It was astonishing and wonderful all at the same time. I had an instant connection with him and soon learned he was also raised as a Christian. His children were the same ages as my two and even more remarkeably, our kids were not only the same ages, but “happened” to also be the same genders. Both of his two oldest were born within six weeks of when my children were born….What are the chances? My brother and his family do ministry and are the head of a Outdoor Adventure ministry, called Youth Dynamics…ministering to literally thousands of young people each year. At that point in my life, I found a whole new respect for bio families, the biological connection, and the unique aspects solely found in adoption.
- God put adoption & foster care on my heart since I can remember. I used to beg my mom to adopt, because, as I put it, “It’s just not fair. We have a huge house and only two children. So many kids don’t have homes.” I remember hearing kids outside playing, while my face was glued to a television plea to give money to starving children in Africa. How my heart ached, even then. I knew there was more outside the walls of the house I had lived in since I was two. I was meant to be part of a larger picture of God’s heart…not just for those who look and act like me…but to embrace His global love and adoration for all peoples and nations.
Why trans-racial adoption?
- Please know first of all….I am not a trend follower. We adopted our African American daughter long before it became “popular” in Hollywood. We did not choose our daughter because of the color of her skin, to draw accolades from man, or for any kind of sainthood status, in any form. God loves all kids needing homes & the truth is, from foster care, there are many Caucasian children we have cared for over the years.
- For us, diversity has just always been a part of both my life and my husband’s life. My husband grew up in a Peruvian, affluent home. His family had close ties with people from all different ethnicities, in society. The closest families to me growing up were trans-racial, adopted families, so racial diversity in families was very “normal”. In fact, far more normal to me than any one-race home. I remember even thinking as a child, “My all white family just seems sooo boring”. 🙂
- In addition, facts are, sadly, children of African American decent, as well as other non-white races, are classified as “hard to place kids”….the same as kids with disabilities and/or kids who are part of a sibling group. These so-called “hard to place” kids are sadly adopted far less than healthy, Caucasian children. Statistics show and experience has taught us, children of color also aren’t always treated as equals in homes with other children with white skin. They also often become separated from their siblings in foster care more frequently. To escalate travesty, children of diversity often languish in the system longer, are moved more often to different placements, and often suffer the long-term consequences of never having a forever family of their own. At the same time, Caucasian babies have a long list of waiting parents who are eager to adopt them. This just seems like a grave injustice and doesn’t really make any sense. In years past the tides are changing…but far too slowly. One thing I love about trans-racial adoption is that when people look a family, the message of adoption isn’t and can’t be a “secret”. Diverse families are walking billboard for adoption and unity and the message of equality is by others, without even needing to say a word. Unlike most, I am quick to engage with people of my children’s races, but also strangers or even “grumpy” people who have bias or don’t “approve” of transracial adoption. Love is the greatest weapon of all….not just our love for our kids and family….but love for those who don’t agree with heart to help children of all races. If you saw us on the street or in the store, you will likely cross us eagerly smiling, chatting, or starting conversations with strangers about the reality, joys, and blessings of adoption. Trans-racial adoption is the greatest gift because we get to see the heart of God, manifest in the beauty found in every race, He has created. I love the beautiful tapestry of our family displaying HIS love…and wouldn’t change a thing! (Here is a great article I read, here, you might find it interesting)
- When our daughter came to us, she had been on the streets as an infants the first three months of her life. She had been exposed to drugs, in utero and out. She was also deaf in one ear. We knew…when she came to us as a foster child, that her chances of adoption were slim…not just because of her past, but because the reality is that she was likely to be discriminated against because of the color of her skin. Our hearts fell in love with her immediately, regardless of color or disabilities and it was effortless to love her….an easy choice to make her part of our family. See her story here. (Watch the Youtube video of her adoption story, here)
But Why You?
Maybe you have been reading this thinking….“Well, I don’t come from a long line of adoption. I don’t have siblings adopted, or neighbors I learned what “family” can look like from God’s perspective.”
Maybe you don’t have any strong calling, or weighty life-story calling you to adopt. Maybe it’s just His “still small voice” whispering in your ear….even with those around you might not even agree with it. Well, that is o.k.
Follow where He calls. He will show you the way.
Maybe you are single, or can’t have children. Maybe you have bio kids but somehow “know” God wants you to stretch yourself and reach out and expand your family through adoption. I encourage you, don’t get overwhelmed by the journey or scared by the “horror stories” so many are willing to tell you about foster care and adoption….
Just take that first step now. One small step at a time. God will honor your obedience.
The reality is, adoption doesn’t have to be all that complicated. We, even as believers, can over-share, and make adoption appear complicated, getting people frustrated by the details…
When in reality the questions is simply….”Will you love and keep loving the child he has waiting”, “Will you say ‘yes’ to a God who has chosen and adopted us?”
I have found, when we say “yes” and step forward in obedience….His grace is sufficient, each and every time.
When we listen to His ways instead of fear, He can do extraordinary things in and through us for His greater calls and purposes.
If you are reading this out of curiosity, have been doubting or questioning whether this is a path God wants to you on….Will you consider His heart and what the Bible says about adoption….
Adoption – The Heart of God
- When we became saved, God adopted us. What better reason to adopt others? (Eph 1:5)
- God cares for the fatherless…shouldn’t we too? (Psalms 68:4-6)
- Adoption is God’s plan for the church. (Romans 8:23)
- The Bible calls adoption and living right, “perfect religion”. (James 1:27)
- God says, “Whoever receives one of these children in my name, receives me”. (Matt 18:5)
- God chooses us as children of the promise. “Offspring” not just those of our flesh, but those of His promise. “This means that it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God, but the children of the promise are counted as offspring.” (Romans 9:8)
The Need….
- Every 18 seconds another child becomes an orphan.
- There are presently 143 million orphans in the world.
- 42,000 new orphans every day. Orphan Statistics
- There are around a 1/2 million children are in foster care in the United States. Many will never have families or know the safety and security of a loving, forever home.
I am not sure what your story is; if you are hesitant, “sold out”, or teetering back and forth on the idea of adoption, but I encourage you…won’t you keep growing and reading more on the subject of adoption?
- You can find an extensive reading list, with books and my own personal reviews on foster and adoption, HERE.
- There is also a list of Archived adoption posts from Rich Faith Rising, HERE.
- Be sure to check out the other pages under the “adoption” tab, where you can read everything from “Statistics” to “26 Practical Ways to Get Involved in Orphan Ministry”.
Adoption has been the most amazing and wonderful journey. I encourage each of you to not miss out on the incredible gift of where He might be leading. Now step out and learn more about where he might be calling you or your family when it comes to blessing and miracle of adoption…
