What Does Loving Without Judging Look Like?

We have all heard, “Don’t judge”.  It’s the equivalent of, “get out of my business”. Or, “I don’t want your input into whatever it is I am doing (good or bad)”.

But Jesus came to break our chains, make a ways for us to get past the walls put between us, as people.

Jesus called out what isn’t as if it was. He came and labeled more than the outward problem, but spoke honestly to people’s inward conditions. 

So, is love ignoring the problematic? The hurting? Smiling at those doing wrong, or letting off the hook those who don’t behave and act like we want?

Now first, let me remind you, I am that little girl whose mom would go grocery shopping and I would be stuck in the cracker isle aligning all the boxes across the shelf, obsessively. (I can’t believe I am telling you this)

I like order, sequential thinking, probably far too much logic and need for understanding, for anyone…let alone someone’s nine-year-old daughter.

But over time, God has shown me the beauty of loving without boundaries, that He has called us out from “playing church” in some white-washed building our religion can be trapped in.

My husband went to 7-11 the other day in the midst of three weeks of sacrificially loving and caring for me after surgery. (What would I do without him?)

And you might think caring for babies, doing dishes, cooking, and even homeschooling might be enough to make him feel zapped from energy…

But the reality is our culture has this lie, “We only have so much energy, so much time. We better work hard at helping those who will in return effect our lives. Let’s forget about caring for those who give us back nothing.”

We wouldn’t say it. Most of us won’t even admit we think it. But let’s be honest…we do.

But God says, “I am a well that doesn’t run dry”, we can pour out our lives because we are His light on a hill and we won’t be shaken. With Him we have all resources, strength, grace, and provision for everything He has called us to…

We are so much more capable than most of us even realize…

Still, isn’t it easier to judge, give up than trust our God and give our lives for others? 

My husband stands at 7-11, sees this bicycler who wants to sell him a Kindle for twenty measly dollars.  Now, if that was me, I am not going to lie…

I probably would have avoided this individual, rolled my eyes, or even judged Him by thinking, , “I am sure that Kindle is stolen”.

My husband says, “no”. He was kind and probably patted him on His shoulder, despite this man’s dirty clothing.

“$15.00?” The bicycler tried bartering.

“No, man”, my husband insisted, “We already have a Kindle”.

Now at this point, if that was me and I heard a man say $15.00 dollars for a hundreds of dollar Kindle, the shopper in me would have gone wild.

I would be thinking of E-Bay, the profit of re-selling, getting what I could from this man, and then to be honest, probably leaving without even thinking anything of it.

But that’s not the heart of God…and it wasn’t the heart of my husband either.

The bicycler and my husband talk.

My husband asked the bicycler to come alongside him, sit down, and eat a meal together. (Let me remind you, this is the guy who just finished making me breakfast, lunch, and dinner, cleaned, did the kids, homeschooled our daughter, and cared for a two-year-old.)

I am sure at this point, he was exhausted. But, in Christ-style…it didn’t stop him from loving this man, completely, exactly where he was at.

And isn’t it when we are exhausted, God calls us to trust Him. When we are empty, God wants to use most our service. When we have nothing, God wants to reveal to us; it’s His power, His strength, His Spirit in us that makes the way for all true, successful ministry.

The bicycler didn’t want a meal, he wanted money to get to Canada.

Then, what some might say is bold or confrontational, wildly out of context and even dangerous…

My husband asked the man honestly, “Do you do drugs?”

“Ya man, anything that doesn’t require a needle.” He confesses.

At that point, I would have LEFT. FOR. SURE.

But my husband, like he so grace-filled often does…didn’t leave when there was a mess, didn’t turn his back, or reject this man because He wasn’t perfect…

Instead, he kept on loving.

Shouldn’t we keep loving too, instead of first judging, when others stand before us broken?

The bicycler and my husband chatted for a minute. Then my husband invited him into 7-11 for some coffee and a donut…

And just like I image Jesus did, He drew close to the injured, didn’t deny this man’s sin, didn’t cave into getting what he could get out of the deal, didn’t use this man to inflate his own existence…

He just loved, acknowledged the problem, and then offered practical help in the moment.

And oh how I want to be like that….

Not the girl obsessive-compulsively lining boxes at the grocery store…but the one seeing other’s needs, giving freely, even when exhausted, helping, reaching, and offering practical service to people even especially if they don’t deserve it.

Some say you can’t love without judging. Even I might question how to love people who are plagues with sins that others might see as unforgivable.

Still, scripture tells us that if we are judging without being loving, likely we have or are harboring sin in that exact same area we are criticizing….

And oh how this world so desperately needs grace…

Christians who get out of the four walls of the sanctuary and arm themselves with wildly enflamed love and mercy…

Wasn’t it while we were yet sinners…Christ died for us?  Did Christ want perfection before He chose to love us?

The story of my husband and the bicycler ends with my husband laying hands and praying over this homeless one, after filling his belly and talking to him about the reality of his situation.

And I wonder…

Was it His Spirit that made tears stream down this bicyclers face, or the fact that my husband chose love and grace instead of judgement and condemnation?

I want to be filled with grace, don’t you? I want to let His love drench my hypocrisy, not judging, or trying to play Jesus.

And I can imagine, can’t you, if the church was a place where love was more than a “word”, but seen as practical service, kindness, prayers, generosity, and pouring all of the Jesus we have out on those not yet perfect, or deserving…

What if those that might not step foot in the church found people who served them, letting Jesus be seen not in our harsh tongue, but in our acts of kindness instead.

How magnetic might the gospel to the lost be then?