Leaping Fearlessly With Muddy Boots

Ever just want to leap off of the cliff of fear and doubt; wings spread, eyes lifted to the heavens, going were the wind calls?  

I knew those words were trouble.  Drawn to them, but repelled simultaneously…as they sit on my laptop, hidden under the invite from Amy Sullivan..“Will you join me?” 

But, this year is a call to love. And what is love without leaps?  What is trust without getting out and walking were faith calls, on the water just like Peter?

When I was young, our family had friends who seemed just perfect.  I remember first stepping into their house; white carpet, white couch, white lamp, white pillows….you get the idea. A colorless existence I was somehow strangely drawn too.

But yet it all seemed foreign. The first visit, I carelessly clomped my dirty boots across the well-bleached, carefully vacuumed floors.  Little did I know, I was supposed to take off my shoes before entering. (Something people never did back then.)

And although I was drown to this elegant, barren starchiness, it was quickly apparent...I didn’t fit in.  I would sit upright, try to mimic the furniture…stark and placid.  But all that did was make me even more anxious…and very, very uncomfortable.

I was horrified when they offered cookies…there in that seemingly perfect white formal living-room.  I didn’t take one, though I really, really wanted to…because I was afraid of tainting, crumbs falling, on their “perfect” magazine-looking home.

The tug of it all drew me too…and away from this place all at the same time.  Days after, this model of perfection ate at me.  Still does…now that I think about it.

But, in looking back, can’t we live like that too?  Carefully setting up entertaining rooms were we work hard to starch everything. making it perfect..so others will finally approve of us?  But I wonder what happens when average, ordinary, everyday, boot-clompers like me…want to come join us?  Are we inviting, like Jesus, or untouchable, cold, and guilt instilling like the Pharisees who sat holier than though in their religious systems?

Even worse yet, do we become offended when others don’t appreciate our hard work, or they stomp through our lives with all their baggage? Dirty hands, failing to eat what we are offering?

Amy, in her bold, real form, is challenging us, The Church…The Body of Christ….as broken people…..to risk everything, come as we are, taking off the plastic covering our carefully preserved furniture.  Living bold, no holds bar. She is calling the body of Christ to start walking out our talk, really getting that we only have one life to really live well.  Risking everything…including rejection.

And as this “Will I risk?” question sloshes around deeper, I find faith is not faith if we live hidden in the confines of our homes, on Facebook.  Radical faith is never tasted, if we are afraid to eat what He is offering…because we fear crumbs falling. 

True relationship with Jesus doesn’t require us to “get clean” before we can stand up, enter His house, and eat what He is serving us.

And we were all made for food. God’s food.  A source requiring us to stomp in the face of fear, and go out to be the church in full-force regardless of our “junk”.

And isn’t it when we take that first step, that we see…The rain we danced in is actually what cleans us?  And no mans dictation, or instruction, and no self-induced scrubbing can change us, like He can! 

How about if we all came as we are?  What kind of dent would that make in the kingdom?  What if we stopped being Christ-soldiers, guarding the gate of entry, thinking we have the ability to say…who comes in, and who shouldn’t?

What if we entered, with soil from yesterdays difficulties, coming together and really daring to live bravely, for the glory of God and the good of other people?  How might our lives, others lives, Christ’s testimony in us….look different?

Oh yes, I think I offended our friends that day…and many other times after that, to be quite honest; clumsy, strangely awkward, and never saying the social niceties, “little girls” like me were supposed to.  (Now that I think about it, I am still like that…a little awkward! 🙂

But maybe I have finally gotten older because I don’t want to tip-toe around the perfection and starched white lives of other people.  I don’t want a color-less existence, safe on the cliff of doubt because other people try to intimidate me.

And one thing about fearlessly embracing all you are, is that someone, somewhere is likely to get offended.  But after awhile, God’s approval matters more than those who sit like wax figures on their cold white carpets, stuck entertaining in the four walls of their lonely little living rooms.

But still, the world likes safe.  We all like easy, comfortable, predictable.  And to be honest….safe lives never offend.  White model homes of perfection…never model the reality of those Christ came and died for.

Yet, often don’t you find…the most white-washed people, can also be the dirtiest of all…deep on the inside.

So, why hide?  Will you #riskrejection and take a leap of faith with me…with us?

Will you leave the cliff of fear and leap to where there is no return, into the space God has put in front of you?  A place only a faith-leap can ever accomplish?  A place where others will look at you and say, “Wow, something is different about her.  I can tell she lives what she says?”

And after all, if we are bought, redeemed, children of the Living God…our flesh shouldn’t glory in our own accomplishments, social acceptance, or in the approval of other people.

And if we seek to glory in His purposes alone, won’t we feel uncomfortable in some model home, wrapped in plastic, because others are afraid of a little mud?

In the following weeks ahead, I will be sharing the things God is leading me toward.  Some are God-prompted, another is Husband-prompted, still others will be Jen-choices, that affirm that I’m done staying on the cliff of safety, and ready to risk rejection, because…

A life of rich faith is better than standing barefoot, frozen, on the cold white cliff of our own trepidation.  Don’t you think?

• After over a decade, my daughter begging, I abandoned blonde and not only settled for a darker color, I also dove deep and let my hairdresser hack my hair…even giving me bangs that I never thought I could pull off.  I am not going to lie, I cried the first 24 hours, but now I actually am growing on my new color and the fact that my identity is not found in outward appearance.  (Thanks Mariah and Amy for challenging me!)
• Just before writing this, you will never believe it…I had a huge internet fail.  And because I didn’t want to write an entire blog post on my cell phone, I actually braved up and went to find WiFi at Starbucks.  I am not an agoraphobe….but I am not exactly confident about sitting all alone writing for hours in Starbucks.  And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, I spot someone I know.  I then look down and realize I am the epitome of a Seattlelite…red flannel shirt, black boots, my new very-scary-bangs, and even black hipster glasses.  (What have I gotten myself into? Amy?)  It get’s worse..the internet has a hiccup and I spend an hour having people surrounding me, trying to help me connect in a place that is literally crammed full of people.  (Can someone say embarrassing?)
• Then, I say yes to speak at a Missional Women Conference in Denver, Colorado this April, and I am looking forward to sharing on foster care and adoption….my passion.  I don’t get too worked up about it…I have spoken in front of groups before.  But then I find out this week, they are streaming the conference live for the world to see. What if I choke, start shaking, or say something completely stupid?  Now I remember why I skipped literally every day there was a speech in High School. And why my degree in college was carefully selected so that I didn’t have to take Public Speaking.(Can someone say…horrifying!!)

As you can see, Risk Rejection is more than a social experience, it’s the faith-rise, it’s the lifestyle that says, “I will go because I want to follow what He says.  I want to live, outside the confines of my capabilities, complacency, or personal comforts or conveniences….to where yes, may lead people to potentially reject me!”  

Want to challenge yourself too?  Want to accept your muddy boots and stop “cleaning yourself up” before you walk into the place that God is calling you?  Join us here each Thursday, or add your leap on Twitter at #riskrejection.  Let’s all step off the ledge of doubt, fear, and trepidation….and live in light of eternity.  A place lacking carnal safety….but a place where God lives…in true freedom and lion-like liberty, boldness, and fearfulness.  What do you think?

(Linking with Barbie, Michelle)